Spiritual Principle: Love Its Wednesday, August 20, 2014, and I am no longer a resident of NYS. Instead, I am sitting in the airport of my new home, Oregon. Im exhausted, having been up since 4:30 AM NY time. It is now 1:27 PM Oregon time. I finally ate something of value - a weiswurst sandwich - reminiscent of my time in Munich and my visits with Ute and Manfred and with Regina. If I was still drinking, I would have orderd a Weissbeer, to round out the tastes of the memories. Instead, I am waiting for an hour, when I go retrieve my carrying everything I still had in NYC suitcases and then meet the driver from Eagle Express, pick up Midas and Bobo, and drive to St. Helens, where we will stay at the Best Western until the movers arrive on Friday. Tomorrow I go and meet Jennifer, the manager of the apartment complex I will be living in, just across the street from where I will be working. I will be given the keys to my apartment and an orientation about the complex. As well, because it just so happens that Jennifer and her husband are from Queens, new transplants themselves, she will give me an orientation of the area. Slowly I will acclimate. I am finally feeling the weight of this move lifting from my shoulders. I am finally feeling the amazement of what I actually accomplished. And I finally understand why so many people told me I am so courageous to be doing what Im doing. Yesterday I went to One Spirit to say goodbye. I had to, just had to, have lunch with one of the deans, who became one of my first non classmate friends there. She helped me tremendously, especially during this last year of not knowing what the future holds, and I needed to thank her. She had been officially deemed a B Girl - one of my Best Girls - because of her generosity and her discovering more and more ways to be keep me busy, to do service to One Spirit, and to rebuild self esteem and a sense of purpose. She and I had joined an intergenerational dance troupe prior to my messing up my leg and knee, and our love for movement was a wonderful way to become friends. I also went in to give Gordon, the systems management guy, my walking/rainstick. I knew I didnt want to bring it with me, I had outgrown it - it served me so beautifully for so many years, first as a physical support, then as a soul support. It is imbued with healing, and wisdom, and balance, and whenever I looked at it these past few months, and over the last few weeks, in particular, I continually received a vision of Gordon holding it. I had purchased it 20 years ago, after I sustained my head injury, and had severe vestibular damage. I was unable to stand without holding onto something. Originally, rather than a walker, my doctors suggested a shopping cart, small, bright blue, very happy. It took away the stigma of needing constant support while allowing me the ability to carry things, move things, store things - providing the freedom, or at least the sense of freedom I needed to have. I no longer remember where I found that walking/rainstick, I think a catalog, but I loved the patience it elicited in me when fear would arise. I could just sit and rock it back and forth, listening to the rain in the forest fall while on a stoop or bench somewhere in NYC. Of all the things related to my brain injury, the shopping cart and that rainstick have always provided me with comfort. I sent my cart with the movers, and sent my stick into Gordons trusting hands, It was one of my last acts of love before leaving NYC. Yet, I know that the love I have for all of my East Coast folks and places will continue to provide me - and them - with a wholeness - a wholeness that was the foundation that made this move possible. I couldnt have done it alone, and though I am now sitting alone in an airport restaurant, and I will arrive at my hotel, just my cats and myself, I truly embrace the concept of being never alone, and the power of love. May we all continue to find the love we need in the lives we lead. Many thanks and gratitude to all of you.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 21:01:59 +0000
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