Spiritually Nurturing Children: SubhanAllah I have been wanting to write about this for a little bit but havent been able to get around to it. I wrote a similar article not too long ago about the decline of our children etc, but this one focus more practical tips to flourish their spiritual nurturing inshaa Allah. Today we see that the nafs of many children over inflated, to the point that they find it difficult to progress spiritually. Some parents indulge their children in TV, video games etc and the poor kid knows nothing better really. Rather than coming home and actively playing, they sit like couch potatoes in front of a screen. This isnt healthy for them in any case, but more so, spiritually it contributes to chaos. I feel like writing about this because it is such a common issue I see subhanAllah and I really feel like verbalising my concerns subhanAllah. The first principle I would say, through what I have seen, is that the carers of the children (parents, siblings etc) should have a good healthy relationship with them. They shouldnt hand over their children to TV boxes and violent video games so that they can do the babysitting, if thats what is done then sadly one is going to have to accept the tarbiyah that black box gives also. I think it ultimately boils down to the lack of effort in providing healthy alternatives for the children, because those alternatives require great parental effort and time. Children need to see, especially in this day and age, that life can be lived extremely happily without any screens and virtual lives. The nature of such technology is also very addictive. Sadly, we have parents who dont know deen much and then indulge their children in these things, then we have those who do have deeni knowledge and do indulge their children in these things; the latter case is a little more hopeful as the parents can work on the negative aspects but still it is detrimental. Craft work, sports, cooking, baking, tangible toys, light educational computer games, reading etc are all healthy alternatives inshaa Allah. One principle I try and follow when I am teaching children is to alternate activities with maximum intervals of about 30 minutes most of the time. I believe that it is counterproductive to let them do the same task throughout, you will see they start to get tired and bored. A schedule is very important in the life of a child, especially if the child is going to maktab in the evening. Yes its so tough for them subhanAllah, even the elders dont work for that long most of the time. In an ideal world you would want them to finish school at Dhuhr time so they have plenty of time to relax, but the reality is that they finish quite late. I always suggest for them to relax well after school for an hour- they may have a light snack and have personal play time, half an hour before maktab they should be asked to stop and get ready. Any extra time they should spend in reading their portion for the day and sitting down relaxing, usually this will get done in the car as well (NB: Lack of Tajweed etc in their Quran is another issue altogether, but I do find it very sad that so many madaris may excel in everything but may still not have the proper level of Tajweed subhanAllah... ). Parents should be avid to teach their children the aadab of their maktab. Sadly, many children dont know how to show adab because they just have not seen it action. We must assume that they dont understand what is wrong when they commit it and explain accordingly. Children must be explained that there is a time and a place for speaking and also a time for remaining quiet. I learnt to use a little tip with the little children that when they should be quiet I whisper to them Its time to use your quiet voice, remaining silent or quiet myself until they pick up and follow suit. These kids dont understand when they have to be quiet and when they can speak up. Parents should explain rigorously that when an elder speaks, our mouthes should not be open, we should listen with humility because they are very special and are very wise, the Prophet sallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said ... | etc referring back to Quran and Hadith. The other thing to do is keep a good relation with their teacher, so that the children can be rewarded upon their achievements inshaa Allah. Parents should also teach the child to do the khidmat of their teachers, this inshaa Allah will breed humility and love. The same atmosphere of service should be at home inshaa Allah, it helps lower the ego and bring around selflessness inshaa Allah. Forgive me, but due to myself teaching at maktab, I have to illustrate a few issues I have seen with children and makatib. I can literally count on my fingers how many parents work with their children (at home) while they are at Maktab. Most of the time everything is left for the teacher to deal with. I can tell you that vast majority of children dont have a proper desire to read Quran! Allahu Akbar. Quran is the protein of our spiritual diets and I have seen children unable to even get their mushaf out of their bags! It is as if though there is some brick in there that they are struggling to remove. I heard from Shaykh Husain sahib (hafidhahuAllah) once that if one cannot read Quran at least they should hold the Quran with love, if not that then they should look at it with love- this is the minimum. To struggle on this is very dangerous. Al hamdu lillah, when I was a child, my mother made it a regular routine with us that we would read Quran at around Dhuhr time (if we were at home), for the first few years with our ustaadh and then on our own. She taught me to recite my memorised surahs at bedtime before sleeping and I did do that until they became quite a lot and I realised I was going to bed very late so I stopped... but al hamdu lillah I reflect back now and I see all of that encouragement Allahu Akbar. I continued to read Quran at around that same time when at home for a long while, before my habit kind of changed. It teaches subhanAllah that habits bred early last a long time inshaa Allah. Quran is extremely important to instill into a childs life. Parents should read the Quran to their child when they are young and when they do have the capacity to read for themselves, the best is to pick a time of the day when the whole family can come together to read for 5-15 minutes. Then the senior should explain those ayaat and read tiny amounts of tafseer to get the child interested. Parents can also read a few ayaat per week and give the children a challenge to put that into their lives. For their Tajweed, again a good amount of time per day should be dedicated to this. I would say 30 minutes in the morning of good solid practise (if they are doing hifz then this time should be dedicated to memorisation, another article talks in more detail of how to teach Quran to children inshaa Allah). During the reading, parents should be careful and vigilant as to whether the child is slumbering. We want to breed love for the Quran inshaa Allah, not the opposite. The children can practise in 5-10 min slots then take a quick break until they finish the full 30. After this they should be shown a lot of love, Adab is an important foundation that if the children gain it inshaa Allah, then bi idhniAllah they will jump ahead in their spirituality. Parents and teachers should be careful to not allow any bad adab to go on and to teach the children excellent manners at all opportunities. This happens foremost by example, but also by encouragement. If a child hurts somebody else, they should be asked to go and apologise and make up. Inshaa Allah one day they wont have to be told, they will go and say sorry on their own inshaa Allah. Adab for elders, their classroom, the Quran, Allah Taalaa must be explained with diligence. Many a people have been raised by virtue of their adab and many have dropped down due to their arrogance. Reliance on Allah Taalaa, love for Him and desire to please Him should be encouraged from early on. Everything should relate back to Him. Children should be taught to make duaa when they need something and should be reminded when something goes wrong that all is from ALlah and all is good. Salah should be gradually introduced, firstly the postures, then the tasbeehaat and then inshaa Allah the surahs can come in. The last thing of these practical tips I wish to mention is that the children should be taken to the company of the pious often. They should especially have one teacher who can give them great influence inshaa Allah. More importantly, the sunnah of the Prophet salLAllahu alaihi wa sallam should be made integral to them inshaa ALlah. They should be taught to bear deep love for him and struggle to emulate his way. SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam. What inspires me to write such articles is the terrible state our ummah is in at the moment. Allahu Akbar. Even some kids at Maktab are taught for the sake of money and personal gain- no exaggeration. Some of our teachers in these Maktabs are not even qualified, havent studied knowledge, dont have proper akhlaaq and sometimes dont even pray 5x a day. No exaggeration here. With the state of the teachers being so critical, how can we expect a change? The workers of deen must always bear sincerity and work hard on their relationship with Allah. If their intention is ill then this, may Allah save us, but we may see within the children a reflection of that. This education has to become spiritual again. We have to leave political and academic motives, it has done too much damage, Allahu Akbar. Also, some parents are showing no importance for deen and this is primarily leading to so many problems subhanAllah. If we want to change our ummah, we have to work hard the youngsters within them as they are the future inshaa Allah... May Allah Taalaa grant us all the tawfeeq to do tawbah with afiyat. May He help us look after the amanah of children that He has given to us. AMeen ya Rabb!
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 11:33:50 +0000
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