Splainin Things to a Yak Chris (wordless) Devaney 9/29/14 It was a mighty fine day today. Mighty fine indeed. As I drove in and up to the house this afternoon after getting some milk at the store, there she was . . . Little Jeannie-Lin the house yak, perched on the front steps just waiting for my return. She got up, stretched, and slowly walked over to me . I showed her the milk carton and by God, I think she was jazzed! She’s spending a lot of time outside these days, and much of it observing the other yaks. Yes, from a distance, but intently so. Then she runs off to pester the dogs. Actually, what we have going here is a mutual pester society. Everyone pesters everyone else, no matter the color, breed, species, or the number of legs. We all pester each other. Mercilessly I may add. If we are not pestering, then there is good reason to think we might be bilious or something. Later, I pulled up a stair step and sat with Jeannie-Lin for a while in between work-work episodes and we discussed what she may need to know in life, I mean, someone has to do it and she is so sadly without a mother. Oh we had some fun, and my oh my was she interested. We covered all sorts of necessary topics like food and nutrition and the importance of staying away from strange plants or metal objects. I even showed her a metallic object I found just for effect. I explained the dog’s propensity for chasing things that move, not that they are evil, just that if it moves, they have to catch it . . . it is sort of a dog thing. “That’s so cool!” she replied, and I envisioned some rather expensive therapy sessions coming. . . for the both of us. She loves the dogs, and they her. This is the plus side to this personality conflict. I’m pretty sure all personality conflicts have something positive about them . . . otherwise they wouldn’t manifest. Right? At least mine do. At least I think they do. And then we came to ‘splaining about the ‘period’ thing. Hell yeah, I drew a blank! I was for once, wordless! “Whoa! Would you look at that?” said I and pointed off down the pasture to where Peanut was lying but watching us intently. I got up and maneuvered myself off quickly, mid-sentence, you might say, to where Peanut was lounging by the haystacks and sat down with him against the haystack. I looked back and saw her still on the steps waiting patiently, lovingly, for my return. “Didja tell her?” asked Peanut knowing full well I didn’t. “Hell no!” says I. What the hell do I know about that stuff? Would you?” “Nope! And as I see it, you have two years to come up with something to say about it. Otherwise, I will step in and take advantage of the situation.” Then he thumped me with his near horn in jest, got up, and swaggered out the gate to be with the others. Sheesh! Only two years! I returned to her and found myself speechless in front of the young ‘un. “What ‘cha say we watch a movie together . . . all of us, in bed tonight?” She had no clue but because of the shine in my eyes she wholeheartedly agreed to it. [REPRIEVE] Oh boy! Darkness has arrived, everyone has claimed bed space, it is time to haul over the computer and fire up a movie. I don’t have many movies . . . maybe three or so. So ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is on for tonight. It was that or a Gene Kelly tap dancing one. We have enough energy going at night, tap dancing would not be my favorite thing to have to put up with in the middle of the night as they break out into a tap routine, all 8 of them. Nah! Breakfast at Tiffany’s is a safer bet. Yeah, we’ll have ourselves some fun tonight. I even have a bag of stale cheese puffs we can put near or in our mouths. No one but I cares if they are stale. I have a double layer of sacrificial blankets on the bed yet still pray to God the yak peed outside. But rest assured, I’d rather sleep submerged in yak piss than have to try and explain the ‘period’ thing (or its yak equivalent) to a young yak who truly believes the world is wonderful. Wouldn’t you?
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 00:23:23 +0000
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