Starting school is difficult...... Today I feel a bit under the weather, so I have taken the opportunity to just curl up in bed and try to recover as quickly as I can. No kids are at home today, so the house is peaceful yet a massive mess, but who cares. But instead of wasting my day doing nothing, while trying to recover, I am going to take this opportunity to add a few things to my blog which I hope will be helpful. I apologies in advance that there won’t be any big AHA moments included or any great idea revealed. I just want to share this experience I was reminded of this morning. I ran into a dear gorgeous friend of mine at the gym this morning, who is going through starting her daughter on the spectrum in primary school next year. It reminded me of the stress and uncertainty involved when we first had to start Michael at school. I remember going through that stage and I must admit it was probably one of scariest stages I have had to go through as a parent. Enrolling your child into school is a massive step. Letting go of your child with special needs and handing him or her over to strangers is such a scary road to travel as you enter a complete unknown territory. The doubt if he or she will be able to survive, strive or be happy in this environment, is painful to the soul, but I guess it is a part of all types of parenthoods. Special needs or not. I remember that when Michael started school I was beyond concerned for his wellbeing. I was scared he was not going to be able to cope with the independent requirements, which were expected of him. I feared he was going to get “lost” in the playground, alone and scared and not have any friends. That he would be unable to function in a school environment. It was a very scary time, as a parent, to go through and I wish that I could have had more support in that first year of schooling helping him AND myself deal with the separation and “letting go” of your child with special needs. All of the sudden I had to cut all ties and let him fly. It was so so hard. We came from a much protected environment at his ABA therapy centre, where Michael was surrounded by therapist, friends and friendly faces all day long. No one told him off. No one misunderstood him. No one brushed him off, because they couldn’t understand what he was trying to say. No one turned their back on him, because he was different. He was safe and he was protected all the time and it made me feel relaxed when I dropped him off in the mornings. I knew I did not have to worry one bit about his wellbeing while I was away from him. Having him start main stream school was extremely difficult for me. I knew very little about the school as you do when you are new to a place. We only looked at this school as we had our hearts set on a small school environment and it felt nice. I didn’t know many faces, I didn’t really know any of the teachers and I had only had a few meetings with the principal prior to him starting. It was a whole new environment we had to adjust to and a whole new routine we had to learn. It was scary. Michael settled in to school well. We had a few ABA therapists come along the first bit of time to guide him and help him settle in ok. It helped him to have familiar faces in the classroom with him, but as he got more and more comfortable with the school we faded out their appearances and support. It was a great way to ease him into the classroom environment and the school was extremely supportive of this method. Never once did they say no to any of the support we suggested or which he needed. They were extremely inviting and welcoming right from the start which made everything so much easier. Having your child start school is extremely difficult. There is a huge unfilled gap between the pre-school support and the school years support. Once you child starts school all support disappears and it does feel like you are left to fend for yourself and learn to battle life with autism on you own. I found it was extremely helpful for me and my boys that I got involved in the school right from the beginning as much as I possibly could. I joined the school council to get an insight into the school and help provide a better environment – not only for my children – but also for others. I helped at working bees and put my hand up for as many events as possible. I wanted to be as visible as possible to everyone and I wanted to a face that was familiar to all families in the school. I wanted to be involved to provide a better environment for my children. If my ideas could help create something positive my mission would be accomplished and sometimes that happens. My advice to everyone having children starting school is to BE INVOLED IN YOUR CHILD’S SCHOOL. LEARNING AND LIFE as much as you can be. Be a positive face and help create a positive atmosphere. A smile goes a long way. Our boys’ school are amazing and they have been absolutely fantastic helping them out and accommodating for their needs. I have formed a very healthy relationship with the teachers and the principal and other families as well, because of our involvement and that has led to many positive experiences for my children. My boys love their school and are doing well and as long as that occurs I couldn’t ask for anything else.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 03:29:57 +0000
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