“Staying in Conflict” “If your brother sins against you go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15 During my pre-seminary career I had an employee who was a well trained professional in his field. For a time he carried out his responsibilities admirably, until some conflict arose among our clients and staff. It revealed a shortcoming that was also born out on his resume: he was not good at working through conflict and sticking to a job for very long. As was his usual practice, though, he didn’t just quit. To show himself in a good light he carefully built his case for leaving, by painting our organization as unreasonable to work for, saying that his situation was “impossible”. So with the self-righteous indignation that he was able to muster (made easier because he was also an ordained minister), he painted himself as the victim and quit. My supervisor later told me that this was a pattern of his in previous employments. What was sad is that he didn’t reap the blessings of forgiveness and patience. He didn’t grow in the gift of humility and kindness or learn the art of give and take. He is not alone. We all would naturally want to escape the unpleasant work of reconciling conflict, forgiving others, and taking ownership of our own sins of pride and impatience. While we can avoid conflict that way, we also avoid growth. If we leave, we take our problem with us, because the problem is within us. Sometimes conflicts have no resolution and the severing of a relationship may be better than continuing a bitter one. That’s not a good outcome, just the better of two bad outcomes. But where every effort, no matter how unpleasant, can be made to reconcile relationships in jobs, marriages, churches, and committees, we have the potential of a reconciled and joyful connection. That’s what Jesus did for us. He came to us, lived among us, taught us how to resolve our conflicts (Matthew 18, and then reconciled us to God through the cross. He doesn’t run from our disappointing behavior or give up on us, but prays for us, forgives us, and strengthens us with his Word and Sacrament. He gives us his Holy Spirit to bring us to confession so that we can admit our own part in the conflicts we have with God and others. His grace remains to cover us. By staying with us, He wins us over as His brother and sister. May we do likewise with each other! Pastor Tom Konz
Posted on: Thu, 27 Jun 2013 19:28:55 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015