Story time: So after having a really crummy day yesterday that ended at urgent care yet again (wrecked my wrist this time) I found myself sitting in the grocery store parking lot on the way home, craving a serious binge on comfort food to drown my sour mood. I texted Liz asking if she needed me to pick up anything worthwhile as she was in the process of cooking dinner and I was conveniently already at the store. While I was sitting in the car waiting for a reply, a young man came up to the window and with big half-teary puppydog eyes asked, sir ...sir, can I ask you something? I usually have a pretty good bullshit detector when it comes to riff-raff begging for money for unsavory reasons but this one felt different and I was having a really hard time figuring it out. I stared blankly at him through the glass for a moment and as I silently judged him, he spoke up once more... Im just trying to get some food for my family. Unless you can... then he fell silent, looked down, and walked past my vehicle. I watched him politely try and ask a woman coming out of the store with arms full of groceries who proceeded to avoid him like a disease. Then he approached another vehicle that had just parked and began trying to get the attention of that individual, who again, more or less ran away in freight. I got out of the car and called out to the guy, Hey! You really after food? He stopped in his tracks and stared back at me with a shocked expression seemingly stunned that someone acknowledged his presence. As I approached him, he stammered, a... are you really going to help? I told him I didnt have any cash on me but I do have plastic and hes welcome to join me in the store. He called for his wife who was waiting by a van with a little girl in the back and told her to accompany me inside. By this point, Liz had already responded that she didnt need anything from the store so my only goal at the moment was to indulge myself in some gluttonous junk food. As I walked in to the store with the woman, she sort of paused at the entrance and didnt really know how to handle the situation. I asked her what she really needed and her first thought was milk for her daughter. I suggested she grab a basket before we move on and she looked absolutely mortified. At this point, I was still suspicious of the situation but for one, if milk is the first thing on your mind on a free shopping spree... chances are youre either really really good at playing the game or seriously down on your luck. We reached the dairy cooler and she stopped in front of the gallon jugs and retreated in to a deep contemplation. After the silence grew to an uncomfortable level I asked whats wrong and she said, we dont have anywhere to stay... if I get a whole gallon its going to go bad before she can drink it all. She took a few steps over and picked out a half gallon and said, this should be okay I guess. That was pretty much it. Regardless of circumstances that got this family to where they are, theyre stuck in a bad way and trying to do what they can to make it through. I basically gave her free reign over what else she needed. Upon every item she put in the basket, she would hesitate for a moment until I repeatedly asked, what else do you need? We only spent about 10 minutes in the store but it felt like an eternity. In the end, a handful of grain-based items were purchased, some granola bars, Pop-Tarts, etc... She picked up some cereal and then refused to get any more. I tried pushing her to get some fruit or vegetables but she was so worried about having food that would go bad and wasting it and kept falling back to her daughter at many of my suggestions saying she was too young to eat that. That 10 minute walk around the store was long enough to get a good picture of their situation. They moved down to the area from the U.P. trying to chase better jobs and a higher quality of life. I didnt ask exactly what they did but she said they both lost their jobs because of the economy tanking and after not being able to find work, their assistance was cut off. Theyve been living in the back of their van and needed 17 more dollars to get enough money to stay in the crappy $35/night hotel down the road. As the nights have been getting much colder, I couldnt send them off in good conscious so as I checked her out I pulled some money out in cash-back and handed it to her. As we walked out of the store, she kept thanking me like a broken record and I stopped and offered up a hug before departing. Before she even accepted my embrace she broke out in tears and began sobbing. I tried not to let it show but as I held her for that moment I couldnt help but well up with tears myself as I tried to choke back the emotion of the situation. Having been in an all too familiar situation myself, through the struggle of navigating the system, and having to claw my way back up from the bottom of nothing... I only experienced a fraction of the struggle theyre facing. When I was down on my luck, I had family in the area and a loving girlfriend who were all more than willing to help out. I had a really good understanding of the politics behind government aid. I knew the local community well and knew exactly where to go to find the resources I needed ...and with all that on my side I still just barely managed to scrape by. I cant even fathom having to go through that with a child. Once we parted was, I felt sick that I even questioned going back in the store for the junk food I had planned on picking up. Instead, I got back in the car, pulled out of the parking lot, and headed for home. As everything began to sink in, I no longer had the weight of my day hanging over my head. I wasnt upset that things didnt go as I had planned. My busted up wrist didnt even really matter any more. My brain was now filled with racing thoughts of what else I should have bought for them. I felt ashamed. Ive been present in the the seminars and government offices for assistance as they handed out care baskets to those more unfortunate than myself of tooth paste, soap, tissues... actual necessities no one thinks about giving to the needy. I cant believe that didnt even cross my mind while we were walking through the store. Still this morning, I cant get her face out of my mind and all I can think about is, I should have bought her a toothbrush. I dont know. Did I do enough? Should I have even helped? I mean... how many hundreds of thousands of people live in the US in that same struggling scenario? I cant help them all so what difference does one family make. I didnt even do that much for them. Theyre okay for a day or two but then what? Is it just a waste of money, time, and emotions to even bother? I know from their perspective it made a difference. I think just walking through the store and listening to her story lifted her spirits some. She kept telling me how everyone has been treating them and how they feel like such animals. Society has completely stripped them of their humanity and she kept telling me how people shoo them away like stray dogs and one person, just before I pulled up, tried to run her husband over in the parking lot but they have to keep doing what they can for their daughter. I guess in the end, as selfish as it is, it was worth it merely for the perspective and empathy gained from the situation. Its so easy to loose yourself in the daily struggle to get more things, make more money, eat at the fancier restaurants... but in the end, the only thing that matters is your health, happiness, and the loved ones around you. Were all so caught up in the material bullshit and political nonsense that everyones lost sight of whats really important. Myself included.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Nov 2014 14:27:47 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015