Such a fascinating comment came in today for this post from a Hasidic man: My first daily direct contact with the “outside” world was going to college, I was 18, half of my ex-yeshiva friends were doing the same and we would talk about it when we met. One thing that struck me is how everyone agreed “non-jews” were nice people, but somewhat phony because “who comes into a classroom and says hello to each person around him before sitting down?”, “compliments every single piece of work others do?”, “apologizes for not waiting up for you?” or “asks retorically to be excused to leave a conversation to study?” and other seemingly normal things for polite people we never did because it felt weird. To us, having just entered a foreign place this contradicted the highly competitive environment (50x more than any yeshiva) so we all noticed the extra finesse and thought it to be misplaced. We did not get at first this was just how people behaved, it seemed eerie and probably meant they wanted to show off as better then they were. Now, we are all more mature and learned how to fit in better and hopefully are more polite (those examples were rare in yeshiva and yes we are all male so maybe that plays a role in that aspect of the article). But the argument stands on the different NOTION of politeness in each comunity (we did not even identify it as such) and the time it takes to adapt and the tolerance on either side required when those two realities clash. One more comment everyone had was, that for at least 3 months you could never talk to anyone about a “normal” subject since they had so many questions about orthodox jews and had never had “the chance to actually talk to one” so it always ended up on a Q&A session on judaism. So we all learn something from each other! It’s a microsocial renaissance of sorts. And to those who haven’t yet, don’t forget to keep being polite to them/us it is the best way to show how wonderful that custom is, I am evidence it is not ill will by us and soon they’ll reciprocate. JITC is constantly combating ignorance in the secular world regarding orthodox jews, this is just one case where the ignorance lies within us and our interaction with everyone else takes a hit for it, so don’t take it personally, we all learn eventually! Read more: jewinthecity/2014/09/why-are-orthodox-jews-so-rude/#ixzz3Cq2DzBEG
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 16:57:10 +0000
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