Sunday (non) Sense 09—07-14 Vol. 2. 34 Take Me As I Am Or Leave Me What’s a deal breaker for you? When it comes to a job, to school or to a relationship what will you simply not tolerate? I’ve heard people say they won’t date a smoker. Some won’t work at a job that requires them to drive more than 25 minutes. Work that doesn’t pay a certain amount is ruled out as an option. What’s the deal breaker in life though? What do we accept and what do we avoid? What do we excuse away and what do we simply tolerate? I’ve gotten a little wishy washy in allowing some things and some people to remain in my circle even though they really do not fit into my life’s view. When I find myself accepting things that were previously unacceptable I am reminded that I may have lost my resolve for peace and acceptance of the right to that peace. How I let people treat me is a reflection of how I am feeling about myself. When I accept only respect and tolerance I am feeling worthy of the same. When, however, I accept rudeness, disrespect and intolerance I am doing a disservice to myself as well as those around me. We all know the saying, “do unto others as they would do unto you.” Flip it round though and we see that we should accept only from others that which we would find acceptable in our treatment of them. I would never treat someone intentionally rudely or ignore their worth. When I am oblivious and my bad behavior is pointed out I am grateful. I am glad for the opportunity to do things right, even if I missed the mark the first go-round. For the past 40 hours there has been no electricity in my house. That’s true for many of my neighbors and a lot of the business in my area. Sadly this has prompted many whom I have encountered to exhibit poor behavior thereby accepting that this is their due. Now I don’t love not being able to turn on the lights. It’s a bit of a bother that my laundry is still wet. Friday night was certainly warmer and more humid than I find comfortable. However I view none of these inconveniences as reason to crabby or cruel. I was coming home yesterday morning from running an errand and made a turn off of the freeway into the left turn lane on the main road. I do this same turn dozens of times in a week and I had no reason to think I would be unable to do so again. However, once I got into the lane, the view of which had been obstructed by a long line of cars in the right center lane, I saw that the turn lane was blocked by barricades. Immediately I attempted to scoot over to the right. The first person I motioned to was really not in good position to let me in. The next person though very easily could have paused, let me in, and gone about his day. Instead he made a nasty face and pointed to the back of the line of cars. I didn’t let him bother me but he did make me think. How many times have I decided not to let someone in because I assumed they were trying to get away with something, cutting the line and deciding they didn’t need to wait their turn? I hope that more often than not I have realized that the person trying to make the turn had simply made a mistake like I had. Regardless of the reason a person needs to move ahead of my car common courtesy should dictate that I smile, wave them through and go about my day. I feel better when I behave in that fashion. I do get a bit irked when the person doesn’t wave an acknowledgement but still, I am better for having paused for a moment to show someone some decency and kindness. Not being able to cook yesterday evening I gave the kids a choice of what they’d like to me to pick up for supper. Their first choice, Taco Bell, was closed because of the power outage but Little Caesar’s happily was open. There was a very nice young man behind the counter who was visibly a little overwhelmed. Between football games on TV and a widespread power outage, the store had been inundated with orders. A man who had been waiting a few minutes got irritated and yelled at the young man behind the counter DEMANDING free crazy bread (ironic that crazy is what the inordinately irate man was demanding ☺ ). The young man gave him his pizza and the free crazy bread. When the customer had departed I told the young man that he handled himself well and that he didn’t deserve the way the man had spoken to him. Initially he must have misunderstood me because he said, “I’m sorry.” That told me right there that he’s not used to kindness from those he encounters in his day-to-day. I repeated myself letting him know that I felt he had been treated poorly and that I appreciated his efforts and calm demeanor in the midst of an overly busy time. His smile would have warmed the pizza oven. I’ll admit, I am more-often-than-I’d like, impatient with some people in customer service. My frustration comes when I feel the person is refusing to hear my concerns and simply reading from a script. I get aggravated when I am speaking to someone who is obviously not qualified for their post. However, my irritation is misplaced. It’s not their fault that someone put them in that position. They are, I am sure, doing the best they can. I will grant myself the right to be frustrated. What’s not okay, though, is when I take it out on them. I recognize this as a personal flaw and in putting it here I am able to resolve to do better. I go back now to the original query of what a deal breaker might be for me. If someone were to berate or admonish me because they don’t appreciate who I am that would be cause for termination of any level of relationship. If someone, when I am doing the best I can, diminishes my efforts trying to make me feel small, I will stand as strong and tall as a redwood as I take three giant steps in another direction. If I am mocked because I read the funnies before I read the headlines, I will keep laughing as I turn the page on a full Sunday comic section. If a person thinks I sing too loudly in the car, I will drive myself to my music filled destination. If a mistake is viewed as a character flaw then I will learn from the mistake of being with the person whose perception is itself flawed. These are all deal BREAKERS. When, however, I am accepted and loved for who and how I am, that my dear friends the way to seal the deal. May your days and your lives be filled with the strongest of bonds and unbreakable deals. {If you’ve missed a Sunday (non) Sense or want to revisit one, they’re all waiting for you at alisazee }
Posted on: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 13:53:35 +0000
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