TAKE YOUR BOYSCOUT AND STUFF HIM UP YOUR UTOPIAN ASS My ex-girlfriend finds me on Facebook today after 12 years I remember the night I left her crying I was always mucking up her dream of the perfect world the following five years were a downward spiral I ended up homeless living in Himmel Park while my ex continued to climb the corporate ladder sleep like a baby and stuff her bank account like a teddy bear I remember writing her a letter and putting a friend’s return address on it I begged her to send me 100 dollars swallowing every piss-ounce of pride I had and knowing she didn’t owe me anything but also knowing she made 51 grand a year working at American Family insurance I would emerge from the bushes of Himmel Park every morning and go to my friend’s house (he wouldn’t let me sleep at his house, so he was really not much of a friend but all I had at the time) to see if my ex sent a letter with the 100 dollars but she never did I ended up in a men’s shelter and got a job cleaning the floors of Walgreens at night finally saved enough money to get a studio apartment got a computer and wrote my ex email after email apologizing and apologizing and trying to communicate but only got one reply: “When you’re ready to be a boyscout we can talk.” I tied my shoes the best I could and eventually found another job driving cab saved a few hundred dollars that I put in my dresser drawer I walked to work every morning to get my cab for the day and every morning I stopped at the McDonald’s at First and Grant for coffee at 5 a.m. there was this Mexican girl working there we smiled at each other but didn’t say much she was so beautiful smiling at that ungodly hour in that ungodly place after 6 months she pushed my money away we started talking fitting together her broken English and my broken Spanish she gave me her phone number she lived nearby and since neither of us had a car we took a walk in Himmel Park one night I told her I used to live in that park I pointed out the bushes where I had slept she held my hand I married that Mexican girl who was more woman than all the American females I had dated in 37 years she was an illegal immigrant and still is so we started the legalization process and stripped ourselves naked before governmental official after governmental official we worked and worked spent thousands of dollars on fees and lawyers only to be turned down only to be told we are criminals and a burden to society told we can’t live together unless we go to Mexico and so now we are in limbo trying to laugh with our backs bent over not sure what will happen to us from one day to the next when my ex-girlfriend finds me on Facebook today she congratulates me on my marriage she says she left American Family insurance and now works for some political organization trying to change the immigration laws she is working to help people like me and my wife she is working for a better world I feel like I’m expected to stand in awe of her altruism and the size of her heart when the real reason she contacted me comes out: she wants me to volunteer with her organization if my wife and I care about justice and society we will stop being selfish and cowardly and do something stop writing poems on Facebook and whining and do something real do something for the greater good my wife is still working at McDonald’s I am still driving a cab we are saving every penny we can and we are tired at the end of each day I ask my ex if she is volunteering or if they are paying her to betterfy the world she says ha ha they are paying me I say ha ha how much are they paying you she won’t tell me which means it’s no doubt at least double what my wife and I make together I tell her I’ll consider her request I don’t want to fight with my ex-girlfriend after all this time I think about that 100 dollars asked for in a moment of weakness I think about those days I slept in Himmel Park which were days as free as I would ever experience I think of my wife and the challenges that make us strong I think of how it is easy to be brave and fearless when you have nothing personal at stake and how it sometimes takes decades for things to become clear and so I say goodbye to my ex again after 12 years and wish her much luck with her stock market investments rental properties mayoral candidacy and her entire selfless struggle for Utopia after the conversation is over I linger on her photo on her Facebook page note the age lines and the lost look feel like I dodged a bullet by pure instinct realize I don’t feel sorry anymore.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 20:48:47 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015