TANTRA - THROUGH THE GRIT TO THE GRACE ; A PERSONAL TRANSPERSONAL STORY Part Two Generally & for the sake of this article the Vertical axis of the Cross here relates to the Light-Dark, Highest-Lowest, Angel-Devil or Demon Polarities. Keeping Light & consciousness on the truth of my own genuine inner experience of, for want of a better name, the ‘beast’ which lurks predominantly in my shadow-land, is tricky. In Jungian terminology this is the area of the psyche that has been repressed, denied & judged as not “holy’ or wholly respectable for general view. It’s the part of us that is not only repressed but ‘hides’ below the surface waiting & watching, but for what? Looking for chance for self interest or self-serving is polite for an energy that not only ‘could’ be described as evil at times, but has been. On the horizontal axis of the masculine & feminine Poles, I have become conscious for some time of the ‘unowned’ or immature or unhealthy, competitive, and at times pent up & unexpressed masculine in my energetics, but what I am talking ‘south’ on the vertical pole, is another whole story. Lets look at some of the ways ‘it’ or more to the point, I operate at times & I’d like to say more unconsciously than consciously. operates is owning ways that I sometimes “unconsciously’ The energy ‘feels like’ there is a war on & no-one is to be trusted. IT therefore sees many, if not all situations as a potential threat to ITS plans, ITS livelihood, ITS possessions & ITS life. Sometimes it has a social or language veneer that makes it appear civilised so maybe the odd hissing can be overlooked, but when I really did look, I could see its handy-work just under the surface in almost all exchanges. IT operates in a ‘spy versus spy’ game looking for the edge, the information, the story that will make it not only feel good but look good & more importantly feel“innocent” ..that’s really key because as you know, as we all know, that the last thing the devil can be called is “innocent.’ IT not only knows what its up to, but has moves planned strategically well ahead. IF somehow it gets caught out or has been ‘sloppy’ or someone else gets the upper hand, it mulls things over until it can regroup & strike again. Some of its techniques can even be flattery, anything that will draw out the prize or expose a flank. It uses fear, it uses words of “love’ & even on its hind legs it can mimic the voice of reason. Anything goes to get what it wants, or more to the point, what it thinks it wants & better still, something it thinks you want. Power means everything to IT & is probably key to its core as well as its undoing. Its main mode is around power because what it feels at ITS core really is that its not powerful. While split off from its complementary angelic pole, ITS in battle & drama for ITS ‘perceived’ dominion & survival & domain. Its one thing beginning to excavate & stay on this layer & level of my psyche, but the epiphany had to come that this beast dwells in everyone I meet, this beast dwells in YOU. My mind wanted to do various things with that view, including racing to the other polarity, the Angel, the Spiritual Heights, I wanted to find & go hang out with the ‘good’ people. And right there is another duality. Good by whose terms or judgement? The Truth is I have to some degree explored the other pole & prayed & meditated & hung out in spiritual groups & communities & this actually is where I first discovered the extent of this egoic shadow-land. It makes sense when you view Light- Dark or Angel-Devil as a matched set. Taking the Light however that was gained in those groups & with the experiences of the spiritual heights, is what has given me the faith & courage & fortitude & awareness & consciousness to descend down through the chakra’s to the base & then to the depths to face the Dragon. Owning my own piece, seeing yours, that’s a challenge, but the next obvious blinding realisation isn’t just about personal experience but also about the world stage. I havenot yet been able to fathom how I can sleep at night while children starve, war rages, the planet toxifies, people die, hate each other & suffer? I can see now that if I cant own the part of me that is ‘responsible’ for the suffering in my own Kingdom, the part of me that suffers & inflicts suffering in my own back yard, in my own psyche, then I cant face it in the world. If I am not taking responsibility for the ugliness in me, then I cant take any responsibility either for it outside of me. So where to from here? Firstly, for me it’s to sit & breathe. Some comfort comes from Jung that fathomed this is part as intrinsic to our collective hereditary trail. I came into a world that already had multi-layered dimensions & archetypes. To deeply view the archetypal realm you also must dive into the realm of the Sacred Architect. You must ponder the origins & original blueprints & the sacred geometry of our patterns of Existence, even pre-existence. Our own DNA & gene codex feels way beyond any my or your capacities to alter - is that true or isn’t it? I identify in one moment with the Beast or with the Angel. What I have learnt is that I am really NEITHER. I can identify with being feminine but I have learnt that I am masculine as well & beyond that NEITHER. Somewhere in the middle or center of all this, I reside. The very fact that I can begin to actually ‘see’ all the faces & facets of my psyche, means that I’m not them. I am The ONE Looking. Today I did something different. A couple of days ago I saw someone begging for money for the cost of a shelter for the evening. I gave a few coins & noticed at the same time two Nuns dressed in white a small distance away. I asked them what they were doing? Asking for money for the poor they said. I didn’t have any coin left. I asked them what they did with the money & they told me they looked after the poor, the sick & the elderly at their mission in the city. Right there & then something happened inside me that began somehow to make sense of it all? As you may have guessed, its been quite a transformational week & like this ‘life, ’ its been a beautiful, horrible, magical “hell’ of a ride! This week has been a ‘face off’ and a show down in so many ways. I know that good & bad actually doesn’t exist, they’re relative. With life comes death, with me comes you. With my inner world comes my outer world, with light comes dark & with joy comes sorrow. With my Angel comes my devil, with my feminine comes my masculine & with sweet comes bitter. Somewhere behind all those dualities is the paradox that contains a key that opens a New Door. This afternoon was Sunday. In Scripture on the 7th Day, the “Son” day, God pronounced that “it was “GOOD.” Good without an opposite, Good without a shadow. Yesterday I phoned & today I went to the Sisters Mission & asked if they would have me as a volunteer to help them. I have to say that the afternoon & hours I spent there was more about the Sisters helping me. Today I ‘faced’ the sick, the dying, the frail, the poor & the elderly. I sang I prayed I laughed and I have to say, that today was a “GOOD” DAY. From the ‘Grit’ to the ‘Grace’ …. in 7 days.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 10:01:35 +0000
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