TGIF Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar... Tiger turns to Stevie and says, Hows the singing career going? Stevie replies, Not too bad. Hows the golf? Woods replies, Not too bad, Ive had some problems with my swing, but I think Ive got that right, now. Stevie: I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right. Incredulous, Tiger says, You play GOLF? Stevie: Yes, Ive been playing for years. Tiger: But -- youre blind! How can you play golf if you cant see? Stevie: Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice. But, how do you putt asks Tiger. Well, says Stevie, I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice. Tiger: Whats your handicap? Stevie: Well, actually -- Im a scratch golfer. Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, Weve got to play a round sometime. Stevie: Well, people dont take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem? Woods thinks about it and says, I can afford that; OK, Im game for that.. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play? Stevie: Pick a night. TGIF Subject: Newfie and a Torontonian A Newfie and a Torontonian entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the Torontonian stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Torontonian said to the Newfie: Hello - Man Im the best thief, I just stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. Bet you cant beat that. Newfie replied: You want to see something better? Lets go back into the shop and Ill show you real stealing. So they went to the counter and the Newfie said to the shopkeeper: Do you want to see some magic? The shopkeeper replied, Yes. The Newfie said, Give me one chocolate bar. The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it. The Newfie asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too. The shopkeeper asked, But wheres the magic? The Newfie replied, Check in my friends pocket and youll find all three chocolate bars.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 03:25:50 +0000
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