THE BLONDE MAN HAS FINALLY ARRIVED .................................. A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: Did you find the shampoo? He answers, Yes, but Im not sure what to do... its for dry hair, and Ive just wet mine. ------------------------------ A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. I think its got epilepsy, he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, It seems calm enough to me. The blonde man says, Wait, I havent taken it out of the bowl yet. ------------------------------------ A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope DO NOT BEND . He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. ------------------------------------ A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart! Is this her first child? asks the Doctor. No! he shouts, this is her husband! ------------------------------------ A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, Thats your pine scented air freshener swinging about! ------------------------------------ A blonde mans dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says Why dont you put an ad in the paper? He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. What did you put in the paper? his wife asks. Here boy! he replies. ------------------------------------ A blonde man is in jail.. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. Just WHAT are you doing? he asks. Hanging myself, the blonde replies. The rope should be around your neck says the guard. I tried that, he replies, but then I couldnt breathe. ------------------------------------ (This one actually makes sense.) An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats? To which the blonde man replies: If they fell forward, theyd still be in the boat. -------------------------------------- A friend told the blonde man: Christmas is on a Friday this year. The blonde man then said, Lets hope its not the 13th. ------------------------------------ Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: What if one explodes before we get there? The other says: Well lie and say we only found two. ------------------------------------ A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: Close your curtains the next time you & your wife being intimate. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday. To which the blonde man replied: Well the jokes on all of you because I wasnt even at home yesterday
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 12:22:33 +0000
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