THE HOBBIT: BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (2014) Ive noted before that The Hobbit Trilogy would collapse under its own weight if it didnt resolve all the ridiculous amount of subplots crammed in the last installment. So you are probably wondering if I actually think it worked, or will I go again into another neck beard diatribe this time around. So the Battle of the Five Armies works. Kind of. The bottom line comes down to the oft quoted fact that The Hobbit should have been split into two movies and not three. There was simply too much bullshit the last time around. This time, we get a direct, enjoyable popcorn flick thats more Revenge of the Sith than say Return of the Jedi or The Return of the King. But hey, at least its not The Godfather Part III. Most elements functioned well and did not break the flow of the narrative. I enjoyed the conclusion to the Necromancer of Don Guldur and his defeat by The White Council. As, the lady of light (Galadriel), Cate Blanchet successfully overacts the hell out of this scene a la Joan Crawford, and the other characters get their moment to shine. Smaugs death and the destruction of Laketown was probably the best scene of the film (would have made a good ending for Desolation, huh?) and had me invested. A lot of us are giving Peter Jackson shit for the changes made to the original Hobbit mythos, but I liked what he did here with Bards confrontation with the most famous dragon in fantasy. Smaugs raw power and conceited arrogance are struck down by a fathers love for his son. The battle scenes were for the most part, diverting and well-edited. The large scale scenes will entertain, but some of the smaller scale action toward the end was a bit funner. Thorins final confrontation with the Pale Orc, Azog is probably one of the best duels I saw this year. And I would be remiss to not credit Weta Workshop, Alan Lee, and John Howe for the work in designing Smaug, locations such as Dale and Erebor, the costumes, and the overall aesthetic. And now what doesnt work, and what keep this from being a truly great movie that will stand the test of time. The excessive CGI, green screens, and lack of practical action and locations reach their apex here. It comes dangerously close to resembling a Star Wars prequel, but mercifully avoids being THAT lifeless and plastic. There are times the action becomes cartoonish and silly. The moment where Legolas hopped and platformed from multiple falling bricks like Mario was cringe-worthy. Its the kind of atrocity that kills franchises, or in the goddamned religion that is Tolkien, makes Jackson an apostate. (Hopefully this franchise is over. I doubt that they are going to adapt The Silmarillion.) And for all of the idiots who shipped the creepy and boring love triangle between Legolas, Tauriel, and Kili, I hope you are frackin happy it went absolutely NOWHERE. In fact I think Jackson and company responded to all of the fanboy hate by murdering the shit out of one of these characters and bludgeoning the crap out of another. Well played. (Keep in mind, I actually warmed up to Tauriel a little, even if she has no origin in Tolkien mythology and should not be here. At least the actress seems enthusiastic. Many of the veterans clearly dont.) And why the hell does Beorn, a major character from the actual book have only one wordless cameo in the theatrical cut? Could have cut some other crap to make way for a shape-shifting werebear who can decimate half an army by himself. But the true core, I would argue, of this flawed trilogy has been the relationship between Bilbo Baggins and King Thorin Oakenshield. Their friendship had the most dynamic arc of any and we actually get some real acting in their scenes. Richard Armitage has been overlooked repeatedly, and I find that quite irritating, as you follow him down a descent into madness and greed that forms the central character conflict of the film. Martin Freemans understated Bilbo desperately tries to save his friend from his downward spiral into insanity and the conversations between these two were tense, tragic affairs. Many have compared Thorins sickness with that of Gollum, but I actually found it closer to the tragedy of Isildur. If you havent noticed, Thorin was designed to look like Aragorn for these movies, and Isildur is Aragorns ancestor who he bore a strong resemblance to. His particular brand of cold madness is more comparable than the manic schizophrenia that plagues Gollum and the other hobbits who fall victim to the Ring. And of course the end of their friendship is moving and tear jerking. If the end of that forced love triangle had me almost laughing, this had me CRYING. Thorins kind words and Bilbos emotional reaction were perfect and affected me in a way that no Oscar bait film this season has managed to do. Its hard not to compare this scene with the death of Boromir at the end of Fellowship. Hell, this scene hit me harder for some reason. So in the end The Hobbit trilogy was a serviceable popcorn entertainment venture that had its moments but was bloated and too silly at times, preventing it from being something that many people will care about a decade from now, unlike the previous trilogy. I wonder if Guillermo Del Toro was given the directors chair as originally planned this would have been more substantial or cool. Guess we will never know. So go watch another desperate alliance of elves, men, and dwarves tear through a large army of stormtrooper orcs. Cringe at the awkward and stupid shit Jackson shoved in. And smile at the little moments that make it all the worthwhile. -Joshua Wayne Sheetz aka The Goddamn Batman https://youtube/watch?v=ZSzeFFsKEt4
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 02:53:12 +0000
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