THE LIFE TRANSFORMATION INVENTORY REVISITED. On Father’s Day, I was pondering the age-old psychological question: “Do our personalities ever change?” If we habitually worry (something I do!), can we really become a “chronic” optimist? My wife asked me to describe the large and small transformational events Ive had throughout my life. I described how influential one of the books I read when I was 22, and the time a famous analyst complimented me on my intellectuality. I reflected on the half-dozen spontaneous mystical experiences I had, and some of the life-transforming workshops I’d taken. The result? I entered a state of happiness Ive never experienced before. I stayed “high” for 14 days, and during that time, I guided 200 conference attendees through this “life-transformation” inventory. Although there is one published study showing that this is a particularly useful tool for older people, only about one in a thousand therapists ever take the time to ask their clients to review ALL of the positive experiences in their life. When we do so, we realize that life is much better than our pessimistic right prefrontal cortex (the “worry” part of your brain!) is aware of. It’s been over 30 days now, and although the 24/7 state of contentement has faded, all I need to do, any time I feel stressed out, is reflect on all my accomplishments and transformational experiences and I am whisked back into that blissful state. I think it’s an essential exercise as we grow older, but I wondered about the younger generation. Research shows that they get more satisfaction and motivation by moving toward future goals that turn them on. And then I received this email from a bright 18-year-old who took up my challenge. At first he didn’t get much from it, but then he wrote: “After the first few life changing moments had been written down, more seemed to flow out easily and fast. Then, the last one Ive written for today made me a bit teary. Thats saying a lot for me. It takes a lot to bring me to that point.” But, like me, his bliss faded away, so he wrote: “It may take some time to condition into that being a more permanent state. The question arises: is enlightenment temporary or permanent? Those insights and aha experiences that we glimpse throughout our lives are essential for personal growth and development. They lift us up, but we eventually return to everyday reality. But my and Andy Newberg’s research suggest that if we create a weekly practice of savoring our “aha” moments, we’ll permanently change the structure of the reality centers in our brain. Life’s purpose and meaning will deepen, but we must continually prime the pump. So interrupt your worrying whenever you can, or use a positivity coach to help you if need be. Neuroscience says that most negative memories are false, and the more you ruminate on them, the more real they become. Thus, we may be creating lives filled with worries that aren’t real, and that will derail our optimism and future success. So begin your Life-Transformation Inventory today and tell me about your long-term results.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 19:19:26 +0000
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