THE MISSING PIECES OF ME I lost my dad when I was still three months old inside my moms womb. I first had a glimpse of him in one of his photo with his camouflage uniform on. But never felt his touch and the warmth of his fatherly love. With this, all I can say is, I am not really missing him. What I just miss is the feeling of having a father by my side. For sure it would be a lot more different having him around. I may not be gay perhaps. Haha lol! I lost my grandmother when I was in my second year in college. It was 23 days after my birthday when I have to cut class for me to go home to our province as soon as possible. The feeling of that one painful experience in my life is still fresh in my memory. It was just like yesterday when I arrived home seeing her differently with how she used to welcome me. She was breathless, cold and pale— LIFELESS. I miss how she cuddles me everytime I am sad. I miss how she stops my crying when mama is not around. I miss her cooking simple but delicious foods for our meals. I miss holding the sagging fat pads on her arms until I fall asleep. I miss pinching her nose until she shouts in pain. I miss playing lucky 9 with her. I miss going to the bakery with her early in the morning and making her buy my favorite mamon with sugar frosting on top. I miss her sweet Ilokano lullabies just to divert my attention from the irritating sound of the mosquitoes in my ears. And what I miss most is how she yells at me in times when I am very stubborn and hardheaded. I miss the way how she spoils me. I miss her so much... And it feels very sad right at this very moment. The same reason why I dont feel like going home. It feels like I am scratching a scar until it bleeds. The wound left in my heart for her loss still cause me so much pain and bitterness. My grandmother is one good person who moulded me to become who am I today. She is one of those people who loves me even more despite all my shortcomings. Being with her for a little while this morning feels so different. With the cold breeze brushing on my cheeks while I am seated on her tomb made me feel that she was really there right beside me. She maybe physically out of reach but she will forever stay with me wherever I go. And I know she is happy to see me. Because I am her favorite grand daughter. Hehehe! I miss you so much Lola Saling. Kayo na po ang bahala sa amin dito. Alam ko lagi kayong andiyan para bantayan kame. Thank you Lord God for making a way for me to be with them even just for a while. I know they are there with You celebrating eternal life in heaven. I am looking forward to meeting them again one day soon. #AllSoulsDay #Undas2k14 #InMemoryOfOurDearDeparted
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 10:21:57 +0000
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