THE PERFECT WORLD: this past week as the end of the year usually finds us I have been reflecting over my past 12 months and how much my world has changed and all the ups and downs............ A change in circumstances in Australia bought me to the place I am at now............. 30 December 2013, I got a phone call it was my boss saying sorry shaz the business has sold and not sure whats happening with the new people and if you still have a job, the next phone call I found myself unemployed, just going into new year without any warning at all, no pay out, just final and finished. Of course I was upset but deep in my heart I had wanted out for a while, I was stressed and dissatisfied with no job satisfaction and was only staying in that job purely due to finances, and I knew I had so much more in me to offer far beyound what i was doing. I applied for jobs but wasnt happy with the path I was heading down, and when I got honest with myself and then my husband, I found I was struggling internally with the idea of becoming a suburban housewife in sydney, sorry but it wasnt really what I wanted, I was doing that more because I was trying to help facilitate my husbands dream not mine. Of course I wanted us to be a family, I wanted my husband to be reunited with his daughter, but deep down I wanted my dream as well and felt that if I didnt take a chance and risk now it may never happen. I truly dont want to get to the end of my life with if only thoughts and regrets......., If only I had gone to bali, if I only i had gone to see if my dream to live is asia can happen. Was it my husband stopping or forcing me to become miss suburban housewife, No. I had never shared my dreams in depth with him about what I truly wanted. I think we all tend to do that, we try and please our partners, our family, our friends, sacrificing our own desires and dreams and end up resenting which is what I found i was starti g to feel, yet what i found was a extremly supporting husband that just wants me to be happy and was more than happy to help me with my dreams and desires. So i packed my bag (carry on only) as wasnt planning on staying this long, just came to invesigate a business plan, and without going into too much boring info, the cost and risk of the business was too high for where we are at in our life. I still believe it would be a good business here in Bali but the obstacles and costs are huge. Just before i left to come to Bali we had applied for a tourist visa to bring LMI Australia in the interim while waiting for her living in oz visa, only to have it declined as immigration said she was high risk of not returning to Colombia. So due to needing to get her out of colombia quickly we came up with a plan that we could live with in Bali on tourist visas while we waited for her visa to be issued to live in Australia with us, which as it stand now could be 1.5 years away. This way we could get her quickly, she would be closer to her dad, he could visit us as often as possible............ Is this how we really want to live in this current situation????? No way!!!........ I miss my husband heaps, the same as he misses me and LMI, and in an ideal perfect world we would not chose to live this way. But my question is what is an ideal perfect situation, what is a perfect world or perfect life?............... Going back to my reflection and looking for the benefits in my/our current situation it has bought to my memory how much I have always wanted to be a mum, how much I love travel, how much I have always wanted for many years to live in asia, not just bali but south east asia that I love. These have been dreams deep down in my heart, pushed aside until I was forced into unemployment and looking at what I truly wanted in my life.......... and what I have realised in my reflecting is I am living my dreams and getting my hearts desire, it may not be playing out like the fantasy in my mind, you know that movie that runs in your head, you inow your life is just happiness and smiles and fun and feel goods all the time................. but Ive now been living my dream....... ive been living in Bali 9 months, and I am about to take the opportunity to travel with LMI on a backpacking adventure through Cambodia, Thailand, Laos. Did I plan this? No....... but am I going to cease the moment? Yes........ Am I going to take a risk? Yes........... I have an opportunity to do this, to live my dreams........... Ive got what I dreamed of, I am a mum, living and travelling in south east asia..........is it going to be just fun? No..........., but its an opportunity that I can either pass up or take up......... so if i look at my frustrations with the immagration process, if i look at the negatives of our situation, what the benifits are is I get to have and live a dream before we live my husbands dream. I want to be the type of person that will take up a challenge, that will look for the benifits in a not so perfect situation, look at how I can make my dreams happen. Is this how I pictured and fanstised my dreams would play out, of course not, its been one hell of a rollercoaster ride so far. Ive had more sickness and injuies in the past 9 months than in the past 9 years, We have financial burdens as this what not planned for, and my husband is working his butt off to facilitate both dreams, plus us not being together, me living and being alone as a new step mum is huge challenge in its self, having your life and descisions judged and critised by others instead recieving of support and encouragement, having people placing there values on you is sometimes hard on me emotionally .................But I am also having heaps of fun, meet some amazing people, have experienced living in a differnt culture, learnt lots of new things, tried lots of new food, developed a greater appreciation for what I had in Oz. But in all of this I am still getting to experince a dream of mine and am embracing the fact that in life we must have balance........ challenge and support, the good and the bad, the negative and the positive, the benifits and the drawbacks........its impossible to have life one without the other............... So my answer to myself regarding my perfect world is. ........ yesterday, today and tomorrow my world is perfect, nothing is every missing, ive just got to m look for it in my world, its what ever i want my world to be, whatever i want my life to be, i just need to take time to reflect and appreciate the now and be greatful for every situation that is placed before me, the negative and the positives to live my dream
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 04:49:52 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015