THE RECOVERY OF SOPHIA…(Wisdom) This was a very peaceful afternoon. There are certain times when everything becomes very quiet, peaceful...harmonious. Perhaps long practice of Meditation and Prayers yield that Tranquil Living. Or so we first thought catching the madmans whims. The madman being God. To put this in context here is my story of what happened just now. I have been struggling with writing my Science fiction stuck in an episode. It has a Princess Isis who is asked to chose between Doors- and she is standing at the Ruins of Time Temple. More than 6 months passed and I couldnt write something that is true- something that Ive touched felt and so True and Real. Sometimes the madman talks to me in a human Gurus voice- “In two days he will write...” This was the first of the two days. So Tranquil, so deep were my meditations... I felt approaching the Moment of the Muse. While fetching my lunch I paused the googlehangout- in a screen shot. A Frozen screen shot. Frozen Time. If anyone had walked in... Ironically they would have watched the Sci Fi Film Immortals. The irony would be understood as I finish telling this- I ordered my lunch to be Carry bag. Went meanwhile to the Gurus Temple. Meditation was unusually deep...the Lord of the South smiles. I finish what I feel as deepening meditations. I rise with what I had glimpsed... Isis Rising.... I shall write now...The Recovery of Sophia. (Wisdom) Thankfully I bow down at the Lord Seated statue. He being proto-Bhudha. I touch my head down at His feet. Then closer once more. My forehead touches the chill stone...but it felt like I rested my head for a moment at his soft Feet. I surrender..... On the way back I pick my flowers. For evening Peter Berking will join the pooja bringing his own offerings. When i asked to pay, the Flower Shop owner was a few yards away rushing from what he was helping with. He had just helped with a Kid Goat knelt held tight in front of a Trident at the gates of Kali Mandir. The guy there was rising his Sickle to bring it down on its neck. NO…..They are about to Sacrifice the kid! Stop!....what are they doing?....This cant be…shouldn’t be…done? Stop it…stop it….I must Stop that savagery… The guy was yet to bring down the sickle…and I must stop… I must stop…No…Stop…. And I did…..nothing. The sharp Sickle came down rather very slowly….like each second expanded the cowardice and my Chill. There I let him kill a child… I could still as I write this, feel the shame, the impotence, the cowardice, the sickening silence of myself… I did nothing! Didn’t utter a word in protest. Just watched in frozen dumbness…… It went half way through the neck and arterial blood jetted out in thin streaks… The kid’s legs convulsed and the big slit-eyed head partly came off and the jaws were moving…as though uttering some very profound words. It surely was conscious of the miserable end. There was a certain animal dignity unlike us humans around. When the blow to its neck went through I could feel it pass through every nerve of mine. It was an unmistakable moment of its end and it went right through me. Heartrending. I felt it slash into myself into my worth. I don’t know how I walked back to my room and how long it took to make sense of all this nonsense. All my high flights of meditation lead to this…a pathetic collusion. A cowardice of silence and collaboration. An utter Impotence to stop evil. You see I made this startling discovery about myself. If it were a human kid instead of a kid goat slaughtered… Maybe I would have stood by silently? The answer to this is …what if ?....yes!? Unlike the mad man whom I had just surrendered and felt going Deep within and flying high composing fictions of tomorrow’s science- I atleast did have the Will to Stop that. I didn’t have the Power. I had the Strongest Will to have that idiot from bringing his Sickle down the neck of that child of an animal. Not the Power. The Force. But what if I had that Power? Surely I would have challenged him if I were even in my usual eccentric self. Maybe. But could anyone stop animal sacrifices in front of temples? Stop the Bakr Id? Or the daily slaughter of the lambs and kids and chicken that go into our dinner plates? We can endlessly argue both ways without an issue- but can that absolve me of my Crime? My Crime of Silence? Why did this happen at all? What kind of God or Goddess as a compassionate father and Mother will relish Pain and bloodshed for its own sake? My kind giggles Vivekananda. Kali you swooning sissy delights in Pain and Death. There is a Delight in pain. A delight in the flash moment of violent death and horrible dying. Not a Goddess for the weak hearted. She makes light laughter at what we shudder. Still I rather my Divine Mother be all mercy and tenderness. And then I remembered…the connection. I bent down like this kid goat. At the altar of Lord of the South. I had placed my head and rested it upon His soft feet! I clearly felt the softness in the stone. What happened to this softness? Does He want a meaningless sacrifice of my head? Or is He smiling …. If you had the Power…you would have stopped? Sure I did feel I should stop that slaughter and save the kid. Maybe not- for it solves nothing? Surely stopping that sad event Stops nothing at all. This Evil will go on. Can Violent Death be stopped? This is a face of the Divine. A face of Reality. There is a mad Delight in the Sad spectacle? O Lord You had the Power and you didn’t stop it? I had not that power to stop but I had the Will. So what is it my Lord Thy inscrutable Will? Whatever be it – this has happened and that must be your will? So Why? What is it you have willed for me? Should I crawl in front of thy madness and seek you spare my head unlike that kid? Will I not be stooping below the courage of that Kid goathead that seemed to keep talking after getting severed and with some dignity? I like a human kept Quiet uttering not a word for its help. If you sever my surrendered head be sure it wont talk. There is really nothing further to say. As a human I know that much. Its no use of any further talk after that. Maybe like Jesus I would say why you have forsaken me? Whats the point in telling you since he had already said that about you? I don’t believe in Jesus myths-but I for one just saw you let that happen to the kid goat. Isis Rising…? I feel I had fallen. In silence I reflect and it’s still feeling numb. This must be the start- a fine start. This my … …..Recovery Sophia.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 09:42:24 +0000
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