THE ROLE OF THE FAMILY IN NATION BUILDING This piece appeared in The Luminous magazine, an annual educative publication of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus Model College, Ibonwon-Epe, Lagos as my humble contribution in her Volume 3, July 2014 Edition There are many concepts of how nations are built, but the most compelling of these, is the one that defines the art of nation building as an enhancement of the art of family building; where a family is described as an institution of people brought together by common circumstances, which maintain social relationships, and are committed to each other’s welfare. The most common of this family institution being the biological family, but however, this could also include, but not limited to non-biological family like natural, adopted and spiritual family. For a nation to grow, the family therefore has a very important role in it as “the rise and fall of the nation depends on the rise and fall of the family.” It is very true that our family is the basic unit of our society and it is considered as the frontline security of our nation. A family is view like a feet, it is the foundation of man’s body system, for it carries the weight of the whole body which characterize the nation as a whole. If the family is weak so is the nation. Also, the family is one of the basic moulders of a nation’s culture and values. It is the natural and primary right duty of the parents in rearing the youth for civic efficiency and the development of moral character. It serves as root of production of primary individuals who became priest, government and law enforcer, artist, teachers, businessmen, reporters, etc. Similarly, the family moulds the character of a person. It relies on its environment and culture he grows up. The teachings of the school play a major role in the transformational leadership style that becomes a major factor in changing the lives of subordinates and apparently the nation. It appeals to the motivational skills of leaders who can change their men and strengthen the moral aspect of every individual for the good of the nation. In a more complex form, the family is the bedrock of the society. Strong families build strong communities which in turn build a strong nation. It is in the family that young people first learn moral and spiritual values which give meaning to their lives. This is why Saint (Pope) John Paul II in one of his encyclicals reminded us years ago that “the future of humanity passes by way of the family.” He referred to the family as “a society in its own original right”, and the “first and vital cell of society.” Following from this, his successor, Pope Benedict XVI, at the beginning of June 2012 or so delivered a speech in Milan when he opened the 7th World Meeting of Families stating very clearly that the family is humanity’s “principal asset.” He highlighted the importance of faith and the family in today’s society; “the importance of legislation and the work of state institutions being ordered to the service and protection of the person in his various aspects, beginning with the right to life, the deliberate suppression of which can never be allowed, and the acknowledgement of the proper identity of the family, founded on marriage between one man and one woman.” He then called for a defence of family time. He said we should make time for God, work and for family and appealed for Church communities that are more and more family oriented to stand up for the protection of the family as he believes that “the future of humanity absolutely depends on the family, which he says is humanitys ‘principle patrimony,’ the ‘community of life and love which God Himself has willed for man and for woman.’ And it is within the family that we experience for the first time that the human person is not created to live enclosed within himself, but in relationships with others; and it is in the family that the light of peace is first set aflame in our hearts so that it might illumine our world.” He further referred to the identity of the ‘family’ as “a communion of love, founded on marriage and called to be a sanctuary of life, a domestic Church, a cell of society. Although the Pope was speaking from a Catholic perspective, but his words were of significance to members of various faith communities and world leaders because his emphasis is that if love and fidelity and respect are real and we truly do have bonds with our families, then we must look at society in a warmer light. If society is made up of families who exchange goods and pursue goals, then the family unit is privileged to combine its efforts with its members to do culture an altruistic service and ultimately play a very key role in building the nation. On its part, the Lagos Archdiocese in declaring the Year 2014 as the Year Of The Family, in her prayer for Lagos Archdiocesan Year of the Family, prayed inter alia ‘…… to form a family built on love and respect for life and one another…..’ and ‘…. help us by your grace, to make our homes a Domestic Church where faith, love, forgiveness, justice and peace reign so that each member of our families will be led to a personal conversion and intimate friendship with Christ.’ The thrust of this prayer is that successful families tend to have common behaviours, values and language; believe in certain institutions and structures that explain their culture and their joint pursuit to protect their history, secure their present and insure their future as an independent identity and where this is hinged centrally on the belief and existence of one God, the nation itself will be a thriving place where all is not only good, but God is felt in all her developments. This is why the Catholic Catechism on page 2207, The Family and Society aptly captured the family as the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honour God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society. The Church point is derived from the fact that where a family exists to honor God, the fortune and life of the nation is not only simple, but strong in all aspect because as it stated further on page 2208, it states that ‘the family should live in such a way that its members learn to care and take responsibility for the young, the old, the sick, the handicapped, and the poor. There are many families who are at times incapable of providing this help. It devolves then on other persons, other families, and, in a subsidiary way, society to provide for their needs: Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world. Winston Churchill, the famous British Orator & World War II Prime Minister could not agree less because he believes that the family is the first and primary foundation for nation-building and that is why he puts it very vividly that there is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained. If this belief is strengthened, Winston believes that nation will only be better for it as her citizenry are not just humane, but God fearing. In his own assertion, Dr Eric Williams on August 31, 1962 during his Independence Day address to the nation stated clearly that “the strength of the Nation depends on the strength of its citizens.” Citizens, he said do not just fall out of trees; they belong to families, so we need to strengthen family life. Strong families build strong communities which in turn will build a strong nation. He believed that a strong family is one in which there are good communication/interaction skills and members know how to talk and listen to each other; there is mutual love, care and respect for each other; parents set an example of ethical and moral behaviour and consistency of values; there is mutual help among family members for human growth and growth in faith, values and morals; parents take an interest in their children’s lives and seek to guide and counsel them, always remembering to praise and reward good behaviour and to reprimand bad behaviour in a manner that does not break a child’s spirit or spawn violent behaviour in the child; etc. Dr Eric concluded his address by stating the obvious ‘that the family indeed is the bedrock of our society’ and it must be protected for her enviable role in nation building. If these assertions are true, there are two significant developments that should take place in families if they are to play the key role of nation building effectively. The first being a transformed parent in thoughts, words and actions. This is a family where the parent recognises that they have huge influence over the primary cell of the nation and if they desire a developed nation, they must start building through changes in their own lives because it is only when they are being transformed that they can qualify to impact effective parenting into their children. The second significant development is effective parenting through our transformed lives. Our transformed lives will reflect in our communications, modelling and mentoring of our children. In my personal experience, I have observed that my children watch what I do and this has impacted them more than what I tell them. Besides, the value of what I tell them is mainly based on me applying this in my life for them to see. And this is how we will see transformation in our generation (amongst us the parents) and the right equipping of the future generation and it is only then will we see the development of the human resources required for nation-building because it is time for active participation by fathers in the training of their children and for mothers to delegate less of their roles to house-helps and childminders. Providing clothes, food, shelter and even the best private education is inadequate in raising a generation that will aspire for greatness in our nation. It is also therefore important for parents to seek out children, especially those without fathers and provide effective parenting to them so that we can grow as a community and as a nation. In her book, ‘It Takes a Village’, Hillary Rodman Clinton, the former First Lady and Secretary of State, United States of America stressed the fact that families are the first line of responsibility for children, but that the village, a metaphor for society as a whole, shares responsibility for the culture, economy and environment in which our children grow up. She argues that ‘for Bill and me, there has been no experience more challenging, more rewarding and more humbling than raising our daughter. And we have learned that to raise a happy, healthy, and hopeful child, it takes a family. It takes teachers. It takes clergy. It takes businesspeople. It takes community leaders. It takes those who protect our health and safety. It takes all of us. Yes, it takes a village. And it takes a President…..’ Her argument is that for a nation to thrive and grow, the family must thrive and grow and since the family make up the society, the society in itself must thrive and glow because it is the nature of the family to form people, to train them to learn values, help them to learn virtues so that they will know how to live their lives peacefully as citizens as there is no family, no nation because the family is the foundation of nation building, the primordial school of love. In conclusion, great nations are built by families, through the sound foundations of the family and when such nations witness a regression of their development, the immediate and just approach is to strengthen these foundations of the family life and ties because they had become weakened and through them, great nations are built. Build the family, build the nation! Osabomeh, Mark Dominic writes from Lagos via domark11@yahoo
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 15:19:53 +0000
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