THE SHOPPING PARADE Today my housemaid Nisha was sick having injured her neck sleeping in bed last night. Today was also grocery shopping day. Deciding I could well manage the task of shopping without Nisha and not having done the shopping on my own for a very long time, I decided this would be a great opportunity to browse, buy brands we didnt normally buy and possibly stop by Starbucks for a post shopping coffee before heading home to restock the pantry and fridge with healthy nourishing food. I would not buy chips, crisps, chocolate bars and would instead look at the options of wheat free crackers, cheese substitutes and taste free bread which one day my family will thank me for. This was going to be fun. I drove to Lulus and headed the “find a park” parade. With a bit of maneuvering, swearing and bumper banging I finally got myself a park, put on my hiking boots and headed across country to the supermarket doors. I found the trolley bay and chose myself a trolley realizing shortly after that it was only available because it had limited working castors, therefore one could only turn in a leftward direction. By starting at the far right end of the store I planned to work my way across all aisles and really go exploring. I realized the carefully prepared shopping list hubby had painstakingly put together was still in the console of the car but decided lists were for boring super organised people with no sense of adventure so really it wasnt required as I knew exactly what we needed. Beginning in the first aisle I saw rows and rows of brightly coloured shampoos, conditioners, creams, makeup wipes, hand and body washes… my heaven on earth. Where to start?? What do we need?? Shampoo?? OK I forgot to check the girls’ bathrooms before heading out so I guess I‘ll just get a number of brands and the girls can choose. While I’m at it I better get a few extra tubes of toothpaste as I’m not sure how many we have left at home. Face wipes…too scared to go without those so they are added to the trolley. Moving on I explore the next aisle and delight in all the different products and ranges available of everything I never knew I needed. I hit the mops, brooms and bucket section. I ‘ve always wanted a neon green broom and I’m sure my old one is worn out so add this to the trolley along with another mop, a self opening automated rubbish bin and a new box of rubbish bin liners as my existing ones now wont fit my new bin. Toilet cleaner?? Which brand?? Do we even use toilet cleaner?? What about washing powder?? What type do we use? Is our washing machine front or top loading? I spy a new brand I haven’t seen before and decide to experiment so add three different scented boxes to the now overflowing trolley. Actually how can that have happened since I’m only in aisle Two? No I cant put anything back…I really really need all this stuff. I meander around the aisles as I push the trolley working up a sweat with all this left turning. Feeling a bit pekish I add chocolate, chips, crackers and cake to the trolley given my desire for tofu and slimming bread has up and left.. I remember Hubby saying something about more Marmite…. Realizing that is back in aisle 2 and I am now in aisle 19 I determine we can go without it this week. Glancing at my shopping neighbours trolley I note, Is that Marmite I see?? Seeing his back turned to me I hum as I sidle past his trolley and remove the said item adding it to my growing pile of necessities. Given he was arab nationality he probably doesnt even know what marmite is and was likely experimenting as I am so I didnt feel the slightest guilt. He can experiment with it after his next shopping trip. I pass the meat aisle. Goats ovaries?? No Thanks. Cows eyeballs?? Not today thanks. Ethopian leg of lamb?? Really?? Given the size I though it was a birds leg. Whats that in that packet?? You dont know either?? OK. I’ll take it and we can experiment with it at home. I finally make it to the checkout where the young man processes my trolley’s contents. A second trolley?? Yes please. That might make it a lot easier. This packet?? No, the meat boy doesnt know what it is either but I’ll let you know next week when Nisha’s made something with it. What’s the total?? 220 rial??? You have to be kidding?? Surely it isn’t that much?? Do I want to return anything?? Absolutely not. This is all vital stuff.! Reluctantly I handed over the credit card and watched the till go into overload. With assistance from two trolley boys, I stumbled in post traumatic shock out to the car park realizing at the same time I had bought the sports jeep rather than my sensible car and therefore fitting in all shopping vitals was going to be a challenge. I took the challenge and with the new mop and broom standing upright between my legs and with my right arm holding down the bags securely in the front seat while steering with my left hand I meander home only losing two bags overboard on the way. Desperately hoping Nisha is out on an errand so I dont have to face her disappointment at my limited shopping skills, I press the remote to open the gates and slink low behind the wheel glancing left to right. Damn it. She’s there watering the garden. I see her turn in slow motion towards me, mouth dropping open, hyperventilating as she tries to breathe. “Madam, Madam, What have you done?. What is all this.? Where am I going to put all your purchases?. Your cupboards are already full. Why did you buy more pasta? We already have 7 unopened packets in the cupboard. And Butter?? We have four tubs in the fridge and another three in the freezer. Didnt you take a list?? I see hubby wander out the front door to meet me. List?? Absolutely I took the list! Are you questioning me??. I quickly retrieve the shopping list from the console and screw it into a ball in my hand while I start to unload. Hubby requests the fruit, Ribena and yoghurt he had specifically put on the shopping list. I try to tell him everything he wanted from the list was coincidently out of stock. It must be due to Eid. I promise I will go back next week and source those items. Nisha and hubby smile at each other as they unload my car and hubby hands places a 5 rial note in her outstretched hand. A bet?? You had a bet on me? You think I can’t cope without Nisha?? She can leave anytime she wants to. OK Maybe not today but feel free to ask me again next week.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 17:27:29 +0000
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