THE VORTEXS RECOMMENDED BEHAVIOR...HILARIOUS!! NO WHINING The Vortex is not politically correct. If you are easily offended, there is a good chance you will be offended here. Just dont whine about it. We grill the Best Damn Burgers in Atlanta. We also offer our customers a huge selection of booze for guzzling, the option to smoke cigarettes, and some really tasty comfort food, all served in a casual atmosphere with an irreverent attitude. We are sorry if you are offended by the rowdy strippers sitting at the table next to you, or if you think that the bar area is too smoky, or the music is too loud. The simple fact is this; if you really need to have total control over your environment, then you really need to stay home. BE NICE TO YOUR SERVER We strive to foster an attitude of mutual respect at The Vortex. You be nice, and we’ll be nice. If you need to get your server’s attention, please wait until they are finished with the customer they are currently helping, and then flag them down. Don’t whistle, or clap, or bang your bottle on the table like an idiot. Our service is very casual, and you are welcome to call your server by name. But do not reach out and poke them, pull their apron, or slap their ass. In fact, never touch your server in any manner that might be considered inappropriate. Servers can get very touchy about their personal space, so don’t invade it or you might just pull back a bloody stump. THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE Please keep your shoes on, and your feet off the furniture. Don’t graffiti or vandalize our bathrooms, or any other part of The Vortex for that matter, and dont steal our stuff. What the hell is wrong with you? Maybe your momma didn’t raise you any better, or maybe you enjoy living in squalor at home, but we take a little pride in our surroundings. This is our house. So don’t ever come in here and start adjusting fans, thermostats or lights, or moving the furniture around like you own the place, because if you do we’ll have to slap you like a red-headed stepchild. If your group has special seating needs, please let the host, server or manager help you. In fact, our staff is here to help you however they can, so just ask them. They are not shy, so you shouldn’t be either. CELL PHONES You are free to be as rude to your friends and dining companions as you’d like, but if you expect our staff to serve you, then get off your damn cell phone. Vortex Employees will not interact with you if you are using a cell phone at our host stand, tables or at the bar. Talking on a cell phone while attempting to order from your server is incredibly rude, and may result in bodily injury or death. So just put the phone away. You’re really not that important. NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINKS In case you dont understand what we do here, we invite the public into our bar to hang-out, eat and drink. The sale of food and beverages allows us to pay our bills and our staff, and keep this place open. Some people like to try and sneak in their own booze using paper coffee cups, or plastic soda bottles. Nice try. If you are foolish enough to park yourself down, and whip out your sack lunch from home, or bring in an outside beverage, it will be confiscated immediately, and dumped in the trash. Give us any lip, and we will dump you there too. YES WE CAN THROW YOU OUT The Vortex Bar & Grill is an official Idiot-Free Zone. Entering our premises as our guest is a privilege that is revocable at any time, at our sole and absolute discretion. So if we dont appreciate anything about your behavior, we reserve the right to toss your obnoxious butt right out the door. You see, there is no law that can force us to put up with you, if we think you’re acting like a jack-ass. And if we ask you to leave, for Gods sake, don’t start telling us about your “rights.” Just shut up and get out, before you make things worse. Better yet, just don’t act like an idiot in the first place. Be advised, if you do get your silly ass eighty-sixed, this expulsion may be permanent, it may just be until you sober up, or it may be until you convince us that you will stop acting like a damned fool in the future. We’ll let you know our final verdict when you skulk back to The Vortex with your tail between your legs.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:05:33 +0000
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