THE WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE BY UBONG SAMPSON It was billed as the “Ladies First” concert, but as I sat in the crowd of music fans being treated to a great show by the lives of Missy Elliot, Alicia keys and Beyonce in the city of Asaba, Delta state, a peculiar scene began to unfold. From the time Missy took the stage, at the beginning of the show, until Beyonce left the stage and the lights came up, the brother in the row in front of me had his own show on. He screamed, jumped around, waved his hands and trembled with so much emotion… so much joy, that everyone at the show took notice. Standing up (blocking my view) during the entire concert, this brother-sported an Alicia Keys t-shirt, a Missy Elliot hat and a portrait of Beyonce Knowles tattooed on his left bicep. I could neither say nor do anything, as it was obvious the young man was just over excited to see probably, his most fascinating female musicians display a live show right there in the capital city of his very state of origin. “Just my luck,” I admitted to myself, as I was forced to join him in his self imposed punishment (standing) in order to see the stage; though mine was appeared to be more out of coercion. In sitting behind one of the biggest groupie in town, so passionate was this brother about the trio that, between acts, I could not help but strike up a conversation with him. “Big fan?” I asked, “The biggest,” he said, as he proceeded to tell me how passionate, fascinating and much in love he was about and with all the three ladies. While this brother’s passion was a little unusual, to say the least, he ignorantly did get me thinking. What if more brothers were like him? Even when he (or none of us for that matter) is likely to get a second look from either Missy, Alicia or Beyonce, he was still exhibiting his long-had passion for these singers. Don’t you think it will be most honouring if we show this kind of passion in our relationships, precisely with the ladies in our lives, just like this brother did with his favourite singers? What if, when it came to our own relationships, we were more groupie-like? What will happen if we begin to treat the ladies in our lives like she is a superstar? What if we start being her biggest fan and supporter? What if we let go of our inhibitions and macho pretends, and display a love for her that will know no bounds, exhibit a shameless passion, zeal and enthusiasm for her that cannot be questioned? What if we scream with an unbridled joy whenever she walks into the room or surfaces wherever we are? But let’s get thinking, could it be that many of the headaches and heartaches that we encounter in our relationships are a direct result of our lack of regard for our ladies? Indeed many of us are guilty of treating our significant other like she is worth anything less, treating the love of our lives as if they are just other ladies. We do this, even when we know from our inside that she is a good woman, and we deliberately refuse to show or allow them the love they deserve. Sadly, there is always this unreasonable reason given by men, claiming not wanting them (our women) to get carried away, rather than considering ourselves very fortunate to have them. Too often we have the “she’s lucky that she’s got me” mentality… a twisted view of the basis of a relationship that is held by many brothers, a view that prevents us from opening up, prevents us from living caring and loving at the level that we are capable of. What we fail to understand is that, by holding back our love and passion, we shortchange ourselves. Many times, being a little more complimentary of her can mean the difference of her heading for the door or being head-over heels in love you; her being with you or being deeply in love with you. Relationships share the same principles with respect- give and take. It is all about care and concern. Relationship also believes in the theory of the third law of motion which states that to every action given, equal reaction is received. This simply means that to every love and care you invest in a relationship, you are likely to gain equal love and care from your partner. Treating a lady with care and respect is just a corollary of treating her like a superstar, as well as showing concern over her well being and happiness. Being faithful to her, honest with her, being there for her, etc, automatically will send an indirect message to her that she is a VIP in your life and that will help her build that confidence and trust in you. It is being said that women are the best reciprocators. The way you treat them is the way you will be treated in return. Like the concert’s title, “ladies first”; by putting your lady first, by giving her that superstar treatment, you might just find out that you are indeed worthy of you being her No 1 fan. To the guys out there who has never regarded any lady, try taking a look around you, pick the one you think is best, make the first move by treating her like a VIP, then watch out for what you stand to gain. Remember, as you lay your bed, so you lie on it. But at the same time, guys, be very careful because some women are very promiscuous in nature, you must be very meticulous in making your choice, and make sure you choose the best so that you won’t suffer heartbreaks and consequently end up with the usually heard fallacy of hasty generalization: “all women are the same”. CULLED FROM THE SINE QUA NON COLUMN OF COMMUNITY PULSE NEWSPAPERS (TUESDAY JUNE 10th EDITION); AND WRITTEN BY UBONG SAMPSON, A PUBLIC/POLITICAL AFFAIRS ANALYST.
Posted on: Tue, 10 Jun 2014 02:13:19 +0000
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