THE ZODIAC GUIDE TO FACEBOOKERS From Aries to Pisces, we all rush into print. We are just dying to tell all our friends, or friends of friends, or even total strangers, what we just ate for dinner, where we have been on our holidays, why we are annoyed, or what is funny about this hilarious clip of two cats and a buzz saw. But we all have our different styles: spot your friends in this little meander through the Zodiac. ARIES: This is me, abseiling off the Tower of London - I was the first to do it! I’ve just bought the very latest Apple-Nike-A557-2014: it’s not in the shops yet and it’s fantastic! Just totalled my new Mercedes - bummer! Here is what makes me mad! TAURUS: I haven’t put anything on Facebook for ages. That’s because (a) I can’t be bothered and (b) I don’t really want you nosy people knowing what I’m doing anyway. But hey, here’s a raft of photos of my garden; my dinner; my dog doing something terribly clever; and a hole in the ground that will soon be the palace I am building. GEMINI: Here’s a hilarious joke about three rabbits and a leprechaun. This is me, wearing a silly hat and not looking like me. Here’s another joke, full of puns - want to join in? Like like like like like (so much quicker than writing at length). Here’s a link to something hilarious. CANCER: Here’s a photo of my family. And another. Here’s what I’ve discovered about my heritage. Here are some superb photos I have taken. This is my cat/dog/camel looking really cute. This is my family celebrating something. And everything. Here’s a photo of the moon. LEO: This is me, looking fabulous. These are my kids, looking fabulous. This is my home, looking fabulous. Here are my holiday pics - jealous? This s my new car/motorbike/yacht. This is me, centre stage. VIRGO: Sign this petition to save the planet/this obscure plant/homeless dogs. I am working so hard! Here’s a health tip. This is a photo of a disgraceful illegal dump/sad cat/arid wasteland - we must do something! Here is what I have been working on. LIBRA: This is me, looking great! This is my friend/partner/child/relative/gerbil, looking great! Here is a beautiful photo of practically anything. Look at this injustice - we must do something! (But nicely.) Check out this fashion/jewellery/art page. Share, share,share. SCORPIO: Here is what I feel strongly about today. I love my partner/car/home/dog/new gadget. I hate my government/neighbour/boss/neighbour’s dog/new gadget. This is what I am recycling/rebuilding. Here is some advice. I am leaving Facebook now - you know too much about me. SAGITTARIUS: This is me, crossing the Gobi Desert/walking the Camino/climbing Mont Blanc. This is my faithful horse/dog/alpaca. Here are some more horses/dogs/alpacas/wolves/giraffes. This is hilarious! Oops, I had an accident - it’s hilarious! Go, my team! CAPRICORN: These are my concerns. Sign up to save the planet/the Lesser Spotted Dormouse/sad lonely people. Here’s what the government should do. I am being ironic - did you notice? I have five hundred Facebook friends (so why am I still lonely?) AQUARIUS: This is hilarious! Here is a witticism. Here is the latest on my personal quest/interest/cause. Here is a weird photo. Let’s form a group to fight a cause/worship Gaia/dress like science fiction heroes. Want to play a complicated game? PISCES: This makes me so sad! Here is a really touching photo! Check out this amazing group/artist/designer/dancer. This is me, not looking like me. Please help these poor birds/fish/plants/people/fluffy kittens. I have lost my wallet/shoes/car/fluffy kitten - can anyone help?
Posted on: Wed, 03 Jul 2013 09:42:51 +0000
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