THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done - If youre going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning! My mother taught me RELIGION - You better pray that will come out of the carpet. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - If you dont straighten up, Im going to knock you into the middle of next week! My mother taught me LOGIC - Because I said so, thats why. My mother taught me FORESIGHT- Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case youre in an accident. My mother taught me IRONY - Keep laughing and Ill give you something to cry about. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - Shut your mouth and eat your supper! My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck! My mother taught me about STAMINA - Youll sit there till all that spinach is finished. My mother taught me about WEATHER - It looks as if a tornado swept through your room. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then? My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - If Ive told you once, Ive told you a million times - Dont exaggerate!!! My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - Stop acting like a two year old! My mother taught me about ENVY - There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who dont have wonderful parents like you do! Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee (Exodus 20:12). Author Not Known
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 11:46:35 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015