THIRD PARTY & YOUR MARRIAGE 2. AGREEMENT! I said in yesterdays teaching that marital conflict can bring serious tension to the point of suffocation hence you might need help, and this is where the issue of Third party comes into your marriage. You should know when you need help and go for it. I mentioned mentor & pastor yesterday; I emphasized the use of your discretion when involving them and I didnt fail to add that we should learn to resolve our differences with the Word of God in our hands and mouths and on the bed. #clears my throat# Agreement You cant single-handedly pick someone to share your marital issues with, there must be an agreement between you and your spouse. You mustnt share your marital issue with someone your spouse hates or unaccountable to. Havent you seen a situation whereby the wife will share issues with someone and the matter will turn worse simply because the husband doesnt qualify the third party as an overseer of his marriage. I remembered my mentor Pastor Olufemi Muyiwa said to me I hand over all your dreams & vision to your husband, hes your first mentor as far as marriage is concerned and your priest, I am not saying you cant come to me but your husband must agree to it I didnt feel good about that statement until I later understood it. Good for me that my husband CONNECTS with my mentor and my mentor loves my husband the same way he loves me. We agreed that if things happen and either of us need someone to call, it should be our mentors and pastors (good models of a Christian home) but due to distance, we are closer to my mentor and our parish pastor. It is healthy for you to have a mentor and pastor before you get married but after you get married you need to agree on this issue. Good for you if your husband CONNECT with your mentor and vice versa. But you must have a common mentor or pastor when it comes to your MARRIAGE. This is not to say you should cut the link between you and people who raised you but ONE/TWO people is enough to oversee your marital journey and you can still consult them on issues you deem fit. Hear this report I hate my husband sharing our issues with our pastor and it is because his wife gets to gossip about it after the matter is long gone Please madam my advise is that you sit your husband down and discuss your displeasure. Be accountable to someone. I was dancing in my spirit while studying 1.Samuel 25:17 yesterday. A servant gave a report of the ill treatment Nabal(Abigaels husband) gave David and his men. Heres the way the servant described Nabal ...he is such a son of Belial, that A MAN CANNOT SPEAK TO HIM Imagine! Thats bad enough for a marriage. His wife cant talk to him, his family cant call him to order, he will disdain his pastors call(that is if he is humble enough to have one) he regards nobody. May be this best describes your spouse, pray for him/her that the Lord will take the stony heart away and replace it with a heart of flesh. Be accountable to your spouse too, theres nothing so humiliating when a woman quarrel with someone and the husbad says stop but she snubs him and speed on. Dont bore your mentor or pastor with silly issues, handle your issues, make your home an abode of peace and seek counsel when water passes the garri. Is this helpful? Source: Distinct Generation Ministry
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 09:57:01 +0000
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