THIRD PARTY & YOUR MARRIAGE Gbau! The gun screamed out as its bullet aggressively penetrated the heart of its owner. What have I done to my husband? was a statement too late to ponder on as this pastors wife shot her husband dead with the same gun he forever used to maltreat and threatened her in their matrimonial home. What strucked me was the following event that took place at the court of law. The judge said who did you tell/share all your pains with while your husband was assaulting and abusing you these years Nobody my Lord The pastors wife replied with tears. And how are we supposed to believe all these allegations about your husband? With a straight face the woman looked on and said regretably I didnt want to bring a third party into my marriage... That was the case of a couple in a movie titled Pastors wife. Stories abound on how third party ruined the marriage or courtship relationship of many people. I read about a woman who shared her marital issues with her friend; the friend rather than helping her resolve the issue or pacify her to patience, told her to take it hot with her husband blabbing that she can never take such a trash from her own husband. Sad to find out later that she was a punching bag in the hands of her husband. During a talk session I shared with someone what I observed about our mothers. I know how to discuss a person with my mum and the fellow will remain in her good book forever for a moment till I return to say anything otherwise. She loves whoever loves me and dislike whoever hurts me. Thats our mothers for you. I got a hint to stop telling my mum EVERYTHING following an incident that happened to me. I told her few things I dislike in one of my potential suitors of then, but later I discovered some other good traits that outweigh the former but after sharing this with my mum she refused to change her mind set about the person meanwhile I was somehow drawing close to the person in my heart. Someone who makes you sad today can make you happy tomorrow. Every marriage has its own tension, the temperature only differs. Things might be hot in some homes while warm in others. At this delicate time you might get to the peak of frustration and need a help but if you dont seek help...I am afraid o. I recalled my husband asking someone about her fiances mentor or pastor and she said the brother never told her hes committed to anyone like that. I feel this is not right. It is my opinion that you shouldnt marry someone who has no one he/she fears or accountable to. Things will happen! Theres a day for romance and minutes for rancour! Who are you accountable to? Who do you respects that can call you to order/sanity? This brought me to this message: Third party & your marriage. Who can you involve in your marital conflicts? My answer is this: report to someone who genuinely love you and your spouse and has your interest at heart. Someone whose marriage is a model of a good Christian home. Dont think about it! Who says I dont have misunderstanding with my husband? Things happen! There will always be a point of disagreement but how do you handle your differences is the function of your maturity. My husband would say who will you report me to if I misbehave and you cant handle it? Laughs. Your mentor first or our pastor Whenever I over-react he would scare me I will call pastor Muyiwa Olufemi Laughs. Thats my mentor. People whose focus is to get you running back home into the arms of your spouse can be involved when the tension becomes suffocating and unbearable in your marriage. Cant we involve our parents? Yes/No. If you are married at all then I should believe you are mentally matured. Dont run to mama and papa at every issues, learn to handle your differences inside your room may be on the bed, or like Mayowa with a Bible in your hand. Dont forget those times your spouse made you happy when issues arise. Make effort to ignore your ego and make peace. Naturally (it depends)our parents might take sides with us so use your discretion. My mum is one that will never listen to my stories but supports my husband in many things knowing him to be a very patient person. Yet I wont take my matter there neither to his mum...USE your DISCRETION. You understand. What about our single friends or age-mate? I feel it is better and safer to leave our single friends/age mates out of this. Fine I counseled many ppl as a single. You will get the BEST from people who have gone ahead of you and have experiences. Your petty matters can filter to your friends but let it be someone you have scanned, tested and trustworthy. Hmmm I had instances where I had no choice than to report my husband to the HOLY SPIRIT. Its not funny! I sat down, told Him what happened, my feelings. He soothes my soul and I became calm. I was surprised to hear him come to me and apologise too. The Holy Spirit is a true comforter! Tell Him everything! Listen to Him! Is this helpful sisters?
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 09:21:09 +0000
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