TITLE: Take me as I am EPISODE: 32 AUTHOR: TM David-West SHE HAD TAKEN THE NEXT DAY after Mummy Dafe’s visit to do two things. First she’d gone to church to pray and seek God’s face. She’d spent a couple of hours there just soaking in His love and His mercy, finally seeing God as her father and not just her judge. Then she’d returned home, taken out the sky-blue carryall bag filled with her son’s unworn baby clothes and went to the motherless babies’ home. She’d spent another couple of hours there. Holding the babies in her arms, cuddling them and playing with them, she’d finally came to terms with what happened and let go of her son. He would always been in her heart, a part of her life. But no more as a reminder of her loss and pain. She will only remember him now as the most beautiful thing she ever did. She will remember him as the one who first thought her to be a mother, even for the briefest second. Now standing in front of the oak wood-frame door, she inhaled and exhaled deeply, rubbed her damp palms over her pearl-gray skirt. Feeling a little less nervous, she knocked on the door once and then turned the doorknob. “Miss Elizabeth!” Rukky eyes lit up as she entered the living room. He ran forward and jumped into her arms. “Oh Miss Elizabeth, I am so happy to see you.” She stooped and hugged him close. “I’m happy to see you too, Rukky.” “Good evening, Miss Elizabeth.” Stella greeted coming forward. “We are so happy to see you.” She beamed as she wrapped her arms around Rukky and Elizabeth. “We missed you, Miss Elizabeth.” Rukky said as they straightened up. “We weren’t sure if you will be coming here again.” They all sat on the sofa, Elizabeth in the middle. Elizabeth turned to him with laughing eyes. “And why would you think that, hmm?” “Err...” Rukky turned to Stella, unsure how to explain. Stella lifted her shoulders in a childlike shrug. “Because you said no when our daddy asked you to marry him and come be our mummy.” She said truthfully. Elizabeth was momentarily stunned. “Your daddy told you about that?” They nodded. “But he didn’t tell us when he went to see you on Sunday. But we guessed that was where he went to when he left us at grandma’s house.” Rukky said looking up at her. “And when he came back looking sad, we guessed you said no again.” Stella added. They had both been praying about it since Sunday night, mostly because Rukky wouldn’t give up and she’d agreed because she hadn’t wanted to disappoint him. She wasn’t sure why Miss Elizabeth was there but she truly hoped it was because she may have changed her mind. Elizabeth was silent, studying their grave faces. The she turned her gaze to the television where an episode of The Penguins of Madagascar was showing. “Are you two watching this, or can we turn it off and talk?” She asked lightly. “And where is your daddy, by the way?” “He’s in his room, working.” Rukky answered. Good. Hopefully she’ll be through before he comes in. “I’ll turn off the TV.” Stella offered. She got up, turned off the television, then returned to her seat. They both stared up at Elizabeth. Rukky felt like his heart was jumping in his chest, he wasn’t sure why, but he felt a little afraid and at the same time hopeful. For Stella, she kept her fingers crossed and hidden by her side. Elizabeth smiled at their expectant expressions. “I want to explain something very important to both of you.” She began in a quiet tone. “It is about me. And I want to tell you because I believe you two are very bright and deserve to know the truth. I need you to listen intently and not interrupt, okay?” “Okay, Miss Elizabeth.” Stella nodded, her expression serious. “We won’t talk until you finish, Miss Elizabeth.” Rukky promised. She inclined her head, a smile about her lips. “Thank you.” She drew in breath to steady her nerves, willing herself to be calm. “Some years ago – before you were born, Rukky – I had a baby, a baby boy.” Their eyes widened in amazement but they did not say anything. She smiled faintly, appreciating their childlike fidelity to their word. “He would have been seven years now if he was still alive but he died.” A gasp escaped Rukky, and because he felt like he’d talked, he raised his hand to cover his hand. Stella just remained quiet and solemn. Though her fingers remained crossed, she wasn’t paying attention to them anymore. Elizabeth patted Rukky’s other hand, smiling a trifle sadly. “He was so small and weak because it wasn’t yet time for him to be born. But because I was... sick, he had to be delivered before he was ready to come out.” She drew in another breath and smiled gratefully when Stella slipped her hand into hers and began rubbing it. Oh my God, what an amazing, sensitive child. She squeezed the small, soft hand and continued. “He died the next day because he was very, very weak and so little. I too was very sick. You see the doctors had to cut open my tummy to bring out the baby because of my sickness.” She almost chuckled when Rukky’s eyes rounded. “Sometimes when a woman is weak and not able to deliver her baby on her own, doctors cut open her tummy and bring out the baby to keep it alive.” She explained. “The process is called caesarean birth.” She told them, at Stella’s quick nod, she knew the girl understood, obviously from having been taught in class. “Anyway, that day when my son died, I was sick and very weak because I was losing blood and then the doctors had to cut open my tummy again and this time they had to take out my womb.” She stopped because of the horrified look in Rukky’s eyes. She drew him close and rubbed her hand down his back. “Are you alright, darling?” He nodded his head not willing to break his promise of not saying anything until she finished. Though he wasn’t sure what womb is, he felt his own tummy twist in pain. He leaned his head against her shoulders, wanting to comfort her not just himself. Elizabeth leaned down and pecked his forehead. “I’m okay now, it doesn’t hurt anymore. So you don’t have to be afraid. You know what womb is?” She asked softly. Rukky shook his head. Stella nodded, bravely blinking back the tears that threatened. “It is where babies stay until they are born.” She explained to Rukky, still rubbing his back. “It is like a small sack—bag, to keep babies safe in mummy’s tummy. Since my sack was bad now, they had to take it out, because if they didn’t I would have died. And because they took it out, there is no place anymore for babies to stay in my tummy.” She paused briefly, then finished quietly. “So, I can’t have babies anymore.” She stopped and felt oddly at peace for having shared it with them. She looked from one to the other. Stella eyes were dark pools of sadness, so like her father’s when she’d told him. And Rukky’s were sad and teary. “That is why I said no to your daddy.” She added gently. “So he can marry someone else who can give you two more brothers and sisters.” They waited a bit and when she didn’t say anything, Rukky flung his small arms around her neck, holding on tightly. “I am so sorry that your baby died, Miss Elizabeth and that the doctors hurt your tummy and took you baby womb.” He choked back the tears. “But I am really happy that you are here. I am happy that you did not die.” “I am sorry too, Miss Elizabeth.” Stella leaned her head against Elizabeth’s shoulder, allowing the tears to fall. “Sorry that you can’t have babies anymore. But you can be our mummy even if you don’t want to marry our daddy, you can be our mummy.” “Yes, Miss Elizabeth. You can still be our mummy and we will be your children.” Rukky said drawing back to stare earnestly at Elizabeth. “We want you to be our mummy, Miss Elizabeth. We love you very much and even if you don’t live with us, you can still be our mummy.” Though he’d hoped she would marry daddy and come live in their house like Aunty Olivette and other mummies do. But it was okay... as long as she would always come here. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around them and pressed them to her chest, knowing in her heart that God was giving her a gift here. “And I love you guys too... all of you.” A discreet cough caught her attention, she turned to find Caleb leaning against the door-frame of the connecting door to the bedroom, his eyes brimming with tears. “Caleb.” She blurted out. The children pushed out of her arms and turned to see their father coming towards them. “Daddy, Miss Elizabeth is back.” Rukky cried out in excitement. “And she is going to be our mummy... even if she doesn’t marry you.” He added a little deflated. “But I’m sure if you ask her again and tell her what I told you.” Stella raised a brow in a cunning manner. “I’m sure she will say yes.” “Great. Here we go again with the smart advices.” Caleb blinked back the tears, shaking his head. “Thank you, wise men, but if you don’t mind excusing us, I’d like to speak with Miss Elizabeth alone.” “I’m a girl, daddy. So it’s wise girl and boy.” Stella corrected in a maddening patient tone. Then she turned to give Elizabeth a huge smile. “You can come to our room later, when you and daddy are through, okay?” Then she angled her head so she was facing her father alone. “Tell her you love her.” She mouthed before taking Rukky’s hand. They started to walk away but Rukky rushed back and flew into Elizabeth’s arms. “My daddy loves you... in case he forgets to tell you.” He whispered. Then jumped down and walked out with his sister. Elizabeth clamped her lips together because she was afraid that if she parted them, she might start laughing. These kids were impossible. She tentatively raised her head to look at Caleb. He was looking back at her with an exasperated expression. Her mouth started to twitch so uncontrollably she swung her head back down. “Don’t you dare laugh, Miss Elizabeth, because this is not funny.” Caleb warned, feeling a lightness he hadn’t felt since Saturday evening. “Not even a snuffle or a chuckle.” His voice was a menacing growl. “Like I need advice from two meddlesome kids on how to propose.” His loud snort was so comical, Elizabeth bit her lips hard to stop the laughter that was hovering. Caleb stared down at her. When he’d finished with the design he was working on and had decided to come out, he’d been shocked speechless to hear her low, lilting voice as he approached the living room. But it wasn’t her voice that had kept him skulking by the door, it was the astonishing fact that she had chosen to share everything with the children. It had touched him in ways he wasn’t certain anything had ever touched him before, or will ever again touch him. While he’d been pondering whether or not they should tell the kids – after he would have convinced her to marry him of course – she’d already decided not to hide anything from them. To share this with them. That was what he loved so much about her. Her openness, her simplicity, her generous nature. And the fact that she shared his belief in never keeping secrets from children too. Watchout for episode 33 (The final episode) Target: 10 Likes
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 21:33:34 +0000
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