TITLE: The Next Voice You Hear EPISODE: 3 AUTHOR: Royver The Lord’s Thursday evening program was lengthy and had a theological tone: Every pebble beneath your feet, every drop of water, is a miracle, but since you have lost your ability to feel awe I have had to perform today these other miracles which require a suspension of natural law. My willingness to break the law should show you how deeply I love you, for even an omnipotent deity must limit his own powers. However, this will not convince the die-hards. Hence on the morrow, Friday, I shall perform several sizeable miracles during the forenoon. And promptly at noon I shall sink the continent of Africa beneath the sea for one minute and there shall be no single life lost. After the Thursday evening broadcast disbelief melted away. People by the tens of millions became certain that the voice was God’s. Virtually the entire Christian world was trudging the roads towards Jerusalem. Fire crackers rattled day and night in the yellow dust of China. Members of a little known sect in the Ozark mountains wrapped themselves in sheets and gathered on a hilltop to await the imminent end of the world. In Africa, five dictators resigned their posts and left the continent completely while many others called for general prayer meetings. A popular governor in the south-south region of Nigeria called for a meeting of his executives where he commanded that all outstanding debts be paid. He went on to sack a hundred and fifty members of his cabinet, people who were being paid large sums of money for doing virtually nothing. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, he resigned his post to his rival who was battling the governorship elections in court, saying that his rival had indeed won fair and square. Strangely enough, the rival could not be reached, with some close associates saying he had liquidated his assets and fled to the Himalayas in search of spiritual enlightenment. Internet Indecency sites received the lowest amount of visitors in history. At no other time since the dawn of free Indecency had so many members of the male species logged off from their computers and logged on instead to Religious sites. Then the African radio stations took over the air. God had chosen the right continent for his final demonstration. People of another country might have put on a craven scramble for rowing boats and airplanes. Not the Africans! The good humoured Lagos announcer from Nigeria cool FM observed “Nobody is panicking, funny enough. You know Africa is a very spiritual continent and if God himself has decided to baptize us all at once, who are we to refuse. Besides, a minute under water can’t do anybody any harm and might even do some parts of Africa a lot of good.” A Sierra-Leonean lady interviewed at Heathrow airport squealed excitedly among her grinning peers: “Many of us international students are catching the next available flight back to our home countries in Africa! We wouldn’t miss this for the world!” One of the students waved a swim suit in glee. Arrangements were made for airships to circle over the major cities of each of the African continents in order to transmit eye-witness accounts of the second great flood. God had promised ‘sizeable’ miracles for Friday forenoon and they were quite sizeable. In the United states, every last ounce of metal owned by the Army, the Navy and the Air force was gone from its accustomed place. The whole huge tonnage of it, from buckles to battleships, was neatly cut up into scrap. By mid-morning, the other nation whose war potential was feared by the world had also lost all its military equipment. The outrage felt by the Kremlin was sufficient to blast aside its own censorship. All of the shining rows of Russian tanks, planes and guns were gone. In their place stood rank upon rank of wooden carts filled with manure, each bearing a neat placard with a quotation from Lenin: “Peace, Bread and Land.” As for the protest meeting of the atheists in New York, barely had the group demonstrators marched into Times Square than God turned every one of them into an Angel. Arched, sweeping wings with feathers of purest white grew abruptly out of their shoulder blades, and over their heads appeared halos of bright gold. They had a frightfully embarrassing time of it trying to sneak away in taxi-cabs. The announcers and reporters flying over Africa grew almost incoherent with tension as the second hands of their watches swept away 11.58, 11.59 and finally, the dot of noon. The BBC man however, chatted along as coolly as if he were describing a cricket match. “As predicted,” he said, “the continent is now sinking. The rate is quite rapid; about that of a modern passenger elevator. There, the last church steeple has disappeared. The water is aswirl with floating objects. What a clutter people do keep around their houses! Now the hilltops are under…fifty seconds, fifty five… yes, she’s popping up again. Righto! Up she comes, good old Africa, none the worse for her little drenching!” Landing craft raced for the shore the instant there was a shore to race for. The first citizen to be reached by a CNN reporter was a certain Chief Tayo Abidemi from the shores of the Lagos bar beach which now looked cleaner than it had been in years. “Tell the viewers at home sir,” panted the reporter. “Did you really go under?” “You no see as I wet?!” trumpeted the chief. “Water just enter all my room even as I close the windows sef. Abeg you get dry towel for there?” Watchout for the Final episode Target: 10 Likes
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 10:27:53 +0000
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