TMI AKA too much information. When a Bipolar person is hypo manic- a state I have been driven into by my Stalker- and have been more or less forced into STAYING at by well meaning folks who will not listen to me when I say I DO NOT need to be in the hospital- then my writing these things here serves the purpose of showing folks the frustrations that I deal with- and indeed have learned to deal with all my life. When a bipolar person is hypo manic the normal social constraints melt away- burned away by the very fires of creativity that are from within that Creative Mind. Thus it gets spilled out in forced and rapid speech- Or in prose sometimes disjointed and sometimes beautiful in its raw content. We are hard people to know how to help, and can be very difficult to get along with. But whenever we offend ANYONE it was never meant as an offense- and that is the sad irony of this illness- we remember each offense- and we carry our misspoken words of anger within us- and it is the swirling of those words that are the most painful things of all. Our egos have been burned away, and we know why we are here, and what is our true calling in life- but being given the proper amount of freedom to let our creativity gently fall onto the Canvas of our own choosing- that is the Dilemma all artistic folks face daily. I am simply someone from an older generation- a Child of the 60s who saw through the Matrix and never sold out or chose to buy back into an insane model of Supply and Demand. If you were to ask me for a workable solution I would say Bartering. I help you. And you help me- we exchange freely each others gifts. I build you some steps- and you cook me a nice meal. Then when that is over we sit over some herbal tea and chat, or sing, or I tell stories to your grand kids. But trying to get people who are locked into the way things are supposed to work- I am too old to waste time trying to convince Ears unwilling to hear that there are other ways to Live and other, less traveled roads that all lead to the same place. True freedom can be a scary place to be. But for me- anything less is a Trap of some sort. I have assembled a literal orchestra of fine people who keep me sane and grounded- if I had not I would have checked out decades ago. So it is indeed irritating for me when even the people I love tell me I need to be in the hospital and subject myself to Mega Doses of Tranquilizers so that they can make me into a sort of Zombie- who will be more socially manageable. I honor any one out there who can recognize TMI- and therefore protect their own sensibilities. That is called knowing oneself- and ones own capacity to process and digest information. If I offend anyone, my apologies. But if I push one of your buttons- perhaps that is a good Button to look at- because then if there is No Butoon there to push- then you yourself are a freer person. Really. I simply tell my life story- some listen- some ignore. Some will never Awaken to a higher plane of living. And that is ALL fine with me. I know who I am- where I am going- and have the fortune of having the resources to follow my Big Dreams. There is no magic in making dreams come true. And I find some amusement in those who profit by that tired message. You simply dream- set your sites on the dream- and dont let petty people deter you along the way. All I really need is a pen, a guitar, some food from time to time and some great people to spend time with. Ask any retired person- we do not like interference in helping us do what we already know how to do. I am only unusual because I am mentally ill. Lol. But I am less Ill than the systems put into place for folks like me. A very very WEIRD paradigm indeed. Have a great day. Mine will be spent finding outlets to drain the negative energy of Frustration and the crazy complicated ways we need to wait to have our OWN moneys transferred around these days. And today I have a WICKED hangover from a too high dose of what is called an Atypical Antipsychotic Drug! Now YOU tell me where the REAL insanity lies! Lol Hint- its not with me.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 16:08:51 +0000
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