TODAY it was brought to my attention that i have not slept but a very tiny wink here and a tiny wink there for the past 3 weeks and that if i keep this up i will kill someone or myself on my way to work when my body finally crashes.....usually when depressed thats all i ever do is just sleep, this is so different, I would rather just have outbursts of crying followed by little surges of energy to go through like paperwork or to play on this damn computer or to get plans together for my Daughters wedding etc ..... I surely do not want to harm myself of anyone else for that matter however to lay around in bed and stare at the ceiling with a gazillion thoughts running through my head while tears stream down my face about shit in my past just does not make any sense to me, but here I go again, gonna try to put my mind at ease and to get some rest, wish me luck! Its like I am almost afraid of going to bed because i lay there and dwell on how i wish things were different then they are today GOD THIS IS SO NOT ME!!! and will be so thankful to be able to see the light at the end of this never ending tunnel that has been leading me straight to my own private hell!
Posted on: Wed, 25 Sep 2013 06:06:58 +0000
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