TOUGH QUESTION WEDNESDAY So, I’m a pawn star. That is, I’ve been trading my time for a kickback – money. And to get this money, I go to work for the man. This leaves me short on time (to do with what I want) and energy. To get out of this nasty cycle, I’ve been assessing exactly where and how I spend it. I noticed that a good chunk of it is invested in two highly unproductive ways: 1) trying to make other people happy 2) entering into squabbles Funnily enough, number 2 tends to always follow number 1! Weve all heard before that happiness is a state of mind. A choice. And sometimes challenges crop up making it really difficult to make that choice. For days, months or years – people can be feeling really low. But when a close friend or family member is experiences this, my ego starts questioning my responsibility for this and searches for valid reasons in order to accept the blame. Am I the cause? Did I say something wrong? Am I not supportive enough? Maybe I’m no fun to be around? And it goes on and on. It’s stressful, unpleasant and takes up a lot of my energy. I’ve come to realise that putting effort into trying to help change this state for other people is robbing myself of precious time. It takes me away from where I want to focus. And because misery loves company, I’ve found the same low mood to start festering inside of me. Then its a whole other effort to “choose” my way into a sunnier disposition. Over prolonged periods, this cycle builds resentment. Which leads to squabbling. And arguments with someone who is already feeling blue certainly doesn’t help them out of it – it makes it worse which is the very thing that a nurturer sets out to avoid. Oh the irony. I read something about bickering that was very helpful to me yet obvious in hindsight - “Arguments are caused by two people racing to occupy the victim position in the relationship”. BOOM. There it was. What a total and utter waste of my most rare commodity. With so much to do and so little time to do it, are you investing it in the right areas?
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 20:36:15 +0000
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