TRAIN WRECKED!!! Whatever your family weirdness was last night I hope this makes it a lot less stranger. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED So i have a friend who has a wife who has alot of freinds and is constantly setting my buddy (M) on what i call man dates (M) is totally cool and has the ability to make freinds all by himself enough said.... Her latest man date. The Saxaphone Player (TSP) So TSP calls my buddy M last week at 10am and asks hey what are you up to? Im going golfing. TSP hey I love to golf. (M) We have an extra space. (TSP) Can I come along? (M) Sure (TSP) Hey my cars is in the shop can you pick me up. (M) No problem. (M) Picks up TSP and the guy is completely wasted and smells like a drunken tug boat captain. Half way to the course (TSP) Hey man thanks for picking me up I don’t have any money can you cover me? (M) Ok (TSP) Has never played golf and plays 9 holes before he asked to leave the course by the grounds keeper for using a wedge to putt then peeing on the golf cart. (M) takes (TSP) home only to have him pass out and pee himself on the seat of his new truck. (TSP) Has no recollection and denys all claims. Girlfreind sais he is going thru alot and suffers from DEPRESSION.... Thanks Giving.....(M) is working (M) Wife invites girlfriend over along with 20 other guest and family members (TSP) decides to invite himself as well....(TSP) at the house (TSP) finds himself bored and decides to investigate (Ms) bar (M) has an incredible selection of fine liquor from years of collecting. (TSP) decides to grab a 1.75liter of scotch (only available in Scotland) that is the center piece of his bar. he has only drank 2 glasses (1) his wedding (2) Death in family. (TSP) is drinking special scotch like fat guy jogging. (TSP) at one point (TSP) asks for shot glasses (Ms wife) busy with 20 guest gets them. (TSP) takes three kids ages 12 14 and 16 to the back yard to do SHOTS of scotch on the pick nic table before turkey 12 yr old pukes but blames it on food. (TSP) sits down for turkey and pours himself and thermos sized glass of scotch and mixes it with ginger ale. (TSP) Becomes bored with casual conversation and announces he has a special Holiday treat for the group. (TSP) comes from the car and is going to play Silent Night to the group of party goers. (TSP) CANT PLAY THE SAXAPHONE song sounds like Hippos Humping in bag pipe. Crowd of old people and guest offended (TSP) pays no mind and is sticking sax in people face like lap dancing stripper. In the crescendo of the moment (at his best of Kenny G) he backs up and trips over the couch and hits his head. SAXAPHONE STOPS. (TSP) is ushered to bedrooom and is treated for minor head wounds and promptly passes out on (Ms) bed where he will probably relive himself several times. SCOTCH HAS EXACTLY (1) SHOT LEFT (M) Comes home meets and greets and discovers his coveted bottle of empty scotch....(M) WTF happened to my scotch.....party remains silent We quietly exit the party.........
Posted on: Fri, 29 Nov 2013 18:06:55 +0000
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