TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 1. My husband and I - TopicsExpress



          

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didnt. 2. I dont suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5. Dont take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 6. Youre just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 9. Im not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 12. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 16. Being over the hill is much better than being under it! 17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18. Procrastinate Now! /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 26. Ham and eggs...A days work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27. The trouble with life is theres no background music. /data/data/com.lge.email/data/Messaging/Data/Email/1088983553/ 28. The original point and click interface was a Smith &Wesson. 29. I smile because I dont know what the heck is going on. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few! Have a Great Day!
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 04:24:45 +0000

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