Talk about lost arts…how about listening? It seems many are struggling today at being good listeners. If you watch any news analysis show, their hosts are horrible listeners! They bring on guests – better labeled as props – and talk over them, interrupt them, and definitely don’t listen to them. The only opinion of value is the one belonging to the show’s host. Ive attended and listened to debates on creationism vs. evolution. Everyone without exception has been disappointing. Why, because neither side listened to the other; neither side responded to the questions asked by their fellow debater. And in some cases, both sides openly showed disrespect for the other. They demonstrated no desire to examine the issues; their aim was only to present their view. This is a common characteristic of most discussions across all topics. The political stagnation and polarization we witness goes almost without saying. I doubt if most politicians can spell “listen” let alone practice it. So what makes for a good listener? Let me offer some thoughts. 1. Good listeners must first get past themselves. A good listener is not focused on self but rather desires to hear what the person with whom they are conversing has to say. Too often we cause conversations to center around ourselves. When that happens, we’re not listening. 2. Good listeners ask questions. That keeps the other person talking and allows the listener to hear more and understand more of what is being said. 3. Good listeners maintain eye contact with the person/s with whom they are speaking. That helps the listener and the speaker maintain focus. 4. Good listeners are more poised to open their minds than open their mouths. There are times to speak and they will come…but it is better and wiser to listen first. What does good listening communicate? When you listen you are communicating to the speaker: 1. What they have to say matters. 2. The person speaking matters. 3. You are interested in both the speaker and the opinion. Those three dynamics can be life-changing for many. It is also important to understand a key point…listening doesnt mean you agree with what is being said. Ive heard many state No one listens to me and that statement is made because what they said did not become the adopted practice. Listen: what I have to say is not gospel, thus many may disagree. That doesnt necessarily mean they didnt listen (although maybe they didnt). It does means they didnt agree. In our listening, let’s also make sure we are listening to the Lord. It’s easy to squeeze in a prayer or blitz through a Biblical reading without taking the time to listen. Listening makes a difference. So what about you? Are you a good listener? Would others agree? No wonder the Lord said to us, “He that has ears to hear, let him hear.” Mark 4:9
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 17:19:19 +0000
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