Tari’s Coffee Moment-An Albatross in the Room When I was younger, sometimes I heard people use the idiom “There’s an albatross in the room.” The actual saying is “wearing an albatross around his neck.” I never really understood the saying until now. What does it mean? When I looked the meaning up, I discovered that an albatross is a large bird and it wings may span up to 10 feet. That’s an awfully big bird. Think about the havoc that a bird of this magnitude could cause in a room. Yes, an albatross is an actual bird but the idiom is a metaphor derived from the poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner in which the sailors on a ship made their shipmate wear an albatross around his neck because he killed the bird in sport and they believed that this action would bring about a curse upon the ship. So to me the idiom means that a person has to suffer a heavy burden because of the consequences of his or her actions. It took a while but I finally got it. Why do I understand it now? Because I have allowed a lot of albatrosses to enter into my life and into my mind like the albatross of fear, insecurity, even people. All of these at one time or another have reeked havoc on my life and because I have allowed it, I have had to suffer the consequences of my actions and as a result I have missed out on the blessings that God may have had in store for me. Today, I want to deal with the albatross of fear. The albatross of fear has been one of my greatest burdens when making personal decisions in my life. I’m pretty confident about decisions I need to make related to work as long as it doesn’t impact my personal life. But in my personal life and in making personal decisions, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, or fear of loss has caused me to play it safe. See I’m a perfectionist about some things. I want it to be perfect and in wanting things to be perfect and to work out perfectly, I don’t trust my own judgment. So here I go, seeking everybody’s advice and help and everyone has a different perception and viewpoint and then I get all confused and in my fear I do what they say even if it goes against my better judgment. Why? Because it’s safe. I didn’t make the decision so if it didn’t work out, I can blame someone else. This was the very thing that happened to me when I chose to take the job at the State department of Education. I had two job offers. One would have kept me in Selma with the same problems and people that I was trying to escape. The other would take me into unknown territory. I wanted to be free from the things going on in Selma but I wanted to be safe. I was afraid of going into the unknown territory. Fear had me paralyzed. Working in Montgomery was going to impact my personal life. I ran around asking everyone what to do. Everyone had their own view including my family. I stressed, I cried, I was afraid, I didn’t know what to do. Then I did the only thing I knew how to do. I took it to Jesus. See Jesus tells us in His word to “Cast our cares upon Him for His yoke is easy and His burden is light.” I had to learn to seek God for wise counsel and for answers. I had to learn how to hear His voice. I had to release myself from the fears that plagued me because God said He did not give us a spirit of fear but a sound mind. Taking that job was the best thing that I could have done. I have peace in the workplace and I am learning so many new things. But even now, I struggle with seeking too much advice from too many people and hearing all of the different voices in my mind. Even today, I let fear, anxiety, worry and insecurity guide my actions and sometimes that has been a big mistake and then I have to suffer the consequences of those actions and that is sooo stressful, sooo painful, sooo restricting. I keep asking myself , “Why do I keep letting all of those albatrosses in the room, into my mind?” My revelation…because I want to take things into my own hands and I’m not fully trusting God to work things out for me. I don’t have that mustard seed faith spoken about in Matthew 17:20 which means I’m speaking to the mountains in my life and guess what? They are not moving. I got to learn to trust Jesus. He loves me. He desires what is best for me. He loved me so much that He bore all of my burdens and all of my sins when He allowed himself to be crucified on the cross. He told that me that He has plans for me, plans for my good and not too harm me. So I can’t keep allowing the albatrosses to take up space in my mind and in my life because then I will never be able to possess the awesome promises God has told me in His word that He has for me. Yall, don’t keep letting albatrosses into your life. Let go and let God!!!!
Posted on: Sat, 10 Aug 2013 16:22:23 +0000
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