Teach Your Child to be a “Social Detective” When the facts are not clear, you investigate. The social world will always be a mystery for many on the spectrum. It will always be a maze that is difficult to navigate. However, one of the strengths of many on the spectrum is a strong attachment to logic, rules, and facts. They use these facts and rules to make sense out of a chaotic world. Given this, we can use their ability to look for facts and details to socially “investigate” situations they are in; to be a”social detective!” From the early years on, teach your child to be “social detective;” to always be investigating; compiling facts and data. Many children on the spectrum are great with “facts” and “data.” Use that to increase social understanding. Turn them into “social scientists.” Teach them to methodologically look at the interactions around them; to “size up” situations by looking for “social detail”. Questions such as: What situation am I in? What is the context (why are we here, what are we doing together)? Are there any “social rules” for this situation (e.g. talk quietly in library)? What is the topic of conversation (girls, sports, music)? What can I expect, and what is expected of me? Teach them to observe, listen, and understand first, before “jumping in”. Clarify when you don’t understand. What does their body language tell me? Listen first, then talk. The child should learn to seek information and clarification about events before entering them (what can I expect, what is expected of me, context, common themes, sequence of events, etc.), and how to observe, listen, and clarify during interaction so that they can stay synchronized with the interaction. During the early years, the parents need to be the “detective” for the child; thinking out loud (“I wonder how that person is feeling? I bet that made him sad.”), as well as the social interpreter; explaining and clarifying the unwritten rules, perspectives and intentions of others. The parent can model the methods of the “social investigating”; create a hypothesis of what is going on, what can be expected, what is expected of them, etc. Seek to observe first, then clarify and verify. Do not assume, “check it out!” Teach the routine of look, listen and clarify, then respond. The parent can “think out loud” to size up the situation (what is occurring, what is expected), describe what others may be thinking and feeling, discuss how to respond, and then help the child evaluate the effects of his responses on others (how are they reacting)? In the early stages, it may just be the parent narrating this investigation with minimal participation from the child. You model the investigation. Don’t worry if the child is not an active participant; they will gradually pick it up. They are listening! You are providing them with a “framework” for analyzing social situations. As the child becomes more engaged, expect him to be an active participant with you, collaborating and investigating together. Over time the child internalizes a routine of observing, verifying, monitoring, and evaluating when navigate social situations.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Oct 2013 21:57:44 +0000
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