Teesside Blues excerpt 2. Nick has gone to Harrogate to see his accountant, Mike Nick had always liked how money didnt impress Mike at all. In an age so obsessed by defining itself by what it had acquired, from cars to houses to over-priced designer clothing, meeting someone who couldnt be hypnotized by big numbers was rare and very refreshing. Nick had the feeling that even if he turned up one day having won 100 million quid on the lottery, Mike would just shrug, scratch his beard and say, thats not that much really, not when you put it into perspective, or hed come out with one of his favourite expressions, how much money do you really need? The accountant sat back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. See, the thing is, Im all for everyone paying their fair share. An old fashioned notion, Ill grant you, but the way I see it, we all have to live here together and so we should all support each other in proportion to our income. Nobody should be left behind or excluded. Nick nodded. Jules would kiss you if she heard that. Very much her way of thinking. But not yours? It is but, Im more pragmatic. To be honest, if I could screw HMRC for a few hundred quid I bloody would because I feel like the system is basically unfair. In the same way, Id never rob from a small business, but if it was from a big corporation, Id not think twice if I knew I could get away with it. Like most people, in that regard, I imagine. As you say, the system is unfair. It takes too much from the vulnerable, the poor and the defenceless and leaves the rich to pretty much do what they want. When I hear about someone as wealthy as Mr Stevie Big Fish Salmon potentially not paying his share and hiding money from the public purse...or worse...it rather annoys me. Weve got people on 400 quid a week having to cough up money they can barely afford in tax, so why should he get away with not paying up? Its just greed. Thats all it is. I agree. Plus I dont like the man. Hes crass and he likes banter. Banter? Whats banter? You know. Blokes being blokey with each other – especially blokes being blokey about women, drink and sport. Piss-taking and that... Oh aye. My old dad used to say that it was the stupid people that always have the most to say. He wasnt wrong. Nick laughed a little. It seemed a typically dour Yorkshire view of life, but not far awry of the truth for all that. Why are you telling me this, Mike? Other than as a bit of gossip. He took out some papers from his folder and pushed them across his desk. One was a publicity poster for the Teesside Blues festival stating who was playing, ticket prices, location etc. I was sent this by a contact. He thinks theres something iffy about it, he thinks Salmon is laundering money by putting this festival on. Thats what hes heard. I was wondering if youd heard anything similar? Nick shook his head. Laundering money?What does that actually mean in reality? In this case, that hes got a lot of cash that he wants to legitimize. Say you put a band on and their fee is 30 grand. You agree to pay 20 of that in cash and ten into their account, but state in your books that their fee is ten grand. The band pockets the 20 tax free and you get to understate your costs and thus inflate your profits. That way you achieve two important things. You get rid of a lot of your dodgy money and in doing so you create a company – or in this case a festival – that looks far more profitable than it really is, thus allowing you to sell it on at a value far above its actual worth, usually before the tax is due on those profits. The money you get for the sale pays off the tax owed, you pocket the difference – a tidy profit – and more importantly all that dirty money you had has now been cleaned up and legitimized. As long as you keep it all paper free and no-one blabs about cash payments – and why would they - its hard to detect and quite simple to do. Even if someone does talk, as long as there is no hard evidence of cash changing hands, nothing much can be done. Wow. I find it hard to keep track of the money in the bank account, let alone anything more complicated or devious. Mike drummed his fingers on his desk and looked up at him out of the top of eyes. A lot of people are rightly pissed off that after the banking crisis, the public are being asked to cough up to solve fiscal problems that are not of their making, while the rich bastards that largely caused it busily stash away cash and cheat the system out of millions. A lot of people think its wrong. Theres a lot of bitterness. Theres a general feeling that life is significantly more unfair for regular people than at any time in the recent past, isnt there? This was as animated at Nick had ever seen Mike. He obviously was talking very personally. He was in danger of showing passion and he never did that. Like many Yorkshiremen, he mistrusted displays of emotion and saw them as the province of the weak, the deranged and the Southerner. Were penalizing the poor in order to bail out the rich and were all just supposed to just look the other way while it happens. People are right to be angry. Teesside Blues by John Nicholson. Published by Head Publishing 13 September 2014. Paperback £8.99 Kindle £2.99
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 19:20:58 +0000
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