Tekkerslovakia dine out on Sasquatch Dumplings In what promised to be a tough battle, the league leaders and most prolific goal scores of the comp, Sasquatch Dumpling Gang, hosted one of the leagues toughest defenses, Tekkerslovakia, who were third after their 2-1 victory last week. Things started well for the Tekkerslovakians, who got an early goal when Andy Barton (the evergreen play maker and self appointed father of the group) went on a jinking run, twisting his little body past multiple Sasquatch defenders and finishing convincingly. The early goal shock the hosts, whos restarts were terrible all night, giving possession almost instantly back to the Tekkers, who in turn continued to enjoy time on the ball. Barton appeared to have the ball on a string, as he went on another maisy run, this one ending with the same result 2-0. By now the Sasquatch game plan had become apparent. Sitting a little deeper and trying to catch the Tekkers on the break. Not a bad plan, that saw them push forward in waves but with little effect, not really ever worrying the Tekkerslovakian goal, with Leigh Osborne (world famous electric triangle player) having his best game to date, looking unbeatable as he punched, kicked and caught his way closer to a first clean sheet. Tekkers won plenty of corners in the first half, mostly from shots on target that were well saved by the Sasquatch keeper. The best chance from a corner came when Holly chipped a ball to Daley, whos volley was in line with the goals, but it marginally missed.. The roof. However it was soon 3-0 to the Tekkers, when James Daley (Self proclaimed best net cricketer of all time) opened his account with Tekkerslovakia. To be honest I cant remember exactly how it happened, but it did, and I am sure he will be happy to tell you all about it, if you ever wish to ask. Holly won a free kick which appeared to be inside the area, but no penalty was given, good back post runs from Morris, Parker and Maguire opened up space for the Tekkers keeper Osborne to wander in direct in front from distance however his shot wasnt troubling. With the first half coming to an end there was still time for more and it was Barton again who stood up, took charge and scored his third, completing his hat-trick just before half time. 4-0 and the Tekkerslovakians went into the break with a commanding lead. The second half started with an obvious change in tactics from the hosts, pressing higher as the realised the contest was slipping away from them. This did create more chances for the host, but it was apparent with Osbornes current form it was going to take another own goal, or something super special to find the back of the Tekkers net. Barton almost obliged, dribbling dangerously across goal no more than 2 feet from the goal line narrowly escaping the situation and putting the Tekkers on a fast break which finished with the Sasquatch keeper claiming the ball. The Sasquatch keeper was keeping his team in it all game with extraordinary shot stopping, including chips and top corner efforts. The most impressive of which saw him scramble from well out of position near the side line to push a long range shot from Alex Holly (who wouldnt be here today if it wasnt for a failed contraceptive) out for a corner. Not content with just keeping them in it, he decided to single handedly drag them back into the contest. Rolling the ball out to himself, he then made his way to the halfway line unchallenged and hit a super special strike that was on the rise all the way, smashing into the pigeon hole. Unstoppable. 4-1, Osborne couldnt believe his luck, and neither could the Sasquatch Dumpling Gang who lifted a gear inspired by their keepers wonder strike. They continued to press hard, which left room in behind them for the Tekkers to exploit. Holly hit a long cross towards Morris which was slightly behind him and resulted in nothing. Then in what would have been Tekkers goal of the season thus far, Barton picked out Mike Maguire (whos player profile can be found in this page, check it out!) at the back post, who met it well but flashed the header just wide. Still searching for his first goal it would have been just reward for his outstanding defensive efforts all night. Sasquatch continued to press, but to no avail. Aaron Parker (who when isnt on the pitch can be found the the alternative realm of world of Warcraft) had stopped anyone that came his way, and put his body on the line for the cause, copping a shot to the jugular. Not phased by this, he shook it off with a wry smile that said is that all you got? Holly then found room on the right after receiving a ball from Osborne. Going past one player and shooting low, keeper getting a hand to it, but it still found the net. It was 5-1 and it looked as if the game was wrapped up. The Tekkerslovakians continued to press though, and this pressure paid off when a missed clearance found Ewen Morris (the wine drinking paella lover) at the top of the D who calmly and confidently deflected the ball past the advancing keeper. One more junk time goal from Holly and that was just about it. With 45 seconds to go Osborne left his post and went wandering looking to get revenge for the goal he copped earlier, but with a turn over Sasquatch broke quickly into a two on one against Holly. Holly however was untroubled when the Sasquatch player shot well wide, seamingly unaware of the space he had. Game over with Tekkerslovakia winning 7-1. The result landing them in 2nd place, equal with top on points and goal difference, but having scored less goals. The top two teams meet next week in what may be a season defining moment for either side. Squad: Andy Barton (3), Alex Holly (2), James Daley (1), Ewen Morris (1), Leigh Osborne, Aaron Parker, Mike Maguire. Crowd: 3
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 05:14:08 +0000
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