Testimony of the Day: I want that MINK COAT A few days ago.... I got a call from a woman that I had been almost avoiding for a very long time. It was from a family member, VERY close in blood, who I will leave annonymous, who I have not spoken to since before I admitted myself into rehab. It was really confusing.... The last conversation I had with her was about a week before I admitted myself, I told her in a nutshell the truth of my mistakes and where I was going to be for the next few months and that I had started to walk with God and the path of cleaning up/recovery. I actually thought we made a little bit of progress on that phone call, by me being FINALY honest with her about the drug use and many other things I hid from the world. She even told me that she felt closer and that she felt that now that I was honest, that she could move forward with gracing me with some kind of personal relationship in our future. I have fought tooth and nail for this persons approval and acceptance all of my life and have always been looked at as under her. It has even lead to selfish attempts of suicide to get any kind of attention from them. So when she told me she felt like we could be friends.... I was ecstatic!!! This was it..... my chance finally have a normal sisterhood.... as I have been so desperate for... since we were once young and innocent. The phone call I got the other day from her..... was not anything I assumed it would be. It was a little over half an hour of pure reminders of how much of a failure I am, and how I was basically going through a temporary up in my life and that I would relapse any second. I will leave most of the negative things said out of this.... Im sure you get the point of were this conversation went. She also told me that she can never tell me anything because I am too sensitive and a drama queen... etc. The jabs went on and on. I must say, I would be lying if it didnt hurt me... and even piss me off. But there is one important message I would like to get across with this small situation. It may seem small.... but it is seriously HUGE in my world! And that is this.... When I started to walk with God... I immediately felt a blanket of LOVE that filled a void inside of me that NO poison or person could ever, ever, ever fill. Since that moment I have been hungry for any way to be closer to Him. Sometimes church, or spiritual events just arent enough. Just a couple months ago.... I heard my sponsor say something in a meeting. And MAN did this shoot straight into my heart and spirit! She said this: Humility is like wearing a MINK COAT in the kingdom of Heaven! I wasnt sure what Humility meant at the time. I honestly thought it was like, wearing something that didnt look good, or getting a pimple, or not having a cool car to drive. Lol. I didnt understand it! All I knew... is that at that moment.... I almost hit my knees by asking GOD to shower me with Humility. It was just another life line in my eyes to be closer to Him as I had started to only taste. I was SO sold...... I wanted that MINK COAT! I remember the day.... the minute.... the SECOND I was saved. I was sitting in a prayer class in Haven for Hope. It was within my first few days there. The Pastor, Pastor Nettie, took interest in me and started asking me questions in front of all of the girls. I was kind of shocked she came to me... my ego was like, WHY is she asking ME all of these questions??? Im the least of her worries in here. These girls are the ones with the issues! Its funny, my Ego used to run alot of things in my life and its a trip to look back and acknowledge that. I remember her asking one specific question... Honey, have you been Saved??? I couldnt answer yes or no. I felt I had been saved. Like, the day I broke the chains of the enemy with the truth of my addiction. But still, I couldnt answer with a SOLID yes! Something in me still felt dirty and unworthy. So I told her this: Im not sure if and when I was saved. All I know is that coming into this place, willingly, and leaving my boys and all of my outside world responsibilities, was the SMALLEST sacrifice I could make compared to what Jesus did for me at the cross. I have fallen in Love with Christ and I want to be closer to him. That is why I am here and I believe that is the only way I could be saved from anything. GOD himself. She then immediately grabbed her bible and opened it and came right up to me and started loudly speaking scripture over my head. The scripture said this: Romans 10:6 But faiths way of getting right with God says, Dont say in your heart, Who will go up to heaven? And dont say , who will go down to the place of the dead? In FACT it says, The message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart. And that message is the very message about faith that we preach: If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, your will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that your are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are Saved. NOW... what Im about to tell you is a TRUE STORY.... I BIBLE THIS! At that moment, I looked up at Pastor Nettie with tears flowing down my face as I started wholeheartedly accepting Christ in ALL of my spirit... and this is what I saw when I looked up at her.... Pastor Nettie had HUGE WHITE glowing crosses in her eyes. Right in the middle of them!! They were beautiful!!! I even looked around the room thinking that there had to be some kind of reflection of a cross on the wall or another logical explanation for these beautiful glowing crosses. But there was nothing... nothing at all that could have been reflecting on her eyes, especially to be glowing in the way they were. But, then one of my sisters sitting right next to me screamed, OH my GOD Pastor Nettie.... you have HUGE glowing crosses in your eyes!!! (remember this Lisa Guidry Mcclelland ?!?!?) Thats when I knew, I wasnt crazy. This was really happening! I was SAVED!!! I had not only voiced with my lips, but knew in my heart that Jesus is Lord.... And at that moment, I fully surrendered my spirit to Him. It was the most powerful, elegant, peaceful state of LOVE serenity that ABSOLUTELY NO WORDS could ever explain. I will never forget it. I guess I am reminded of that story because I wanted to speak of my experience with humility. Like I said before, I wholeheartedly asked God to grace me with it...... and BOY is he gracing me! Lol. (Amen) But dangit... I want that MINK COAT! And when I think of how Jesus died for us and for all of the things he endured for our Salvation.... I cant even begin to imagine how humiliating, much less even painful that was. Not even physical pain, but the pain he must feel when he sees us here on earth treating others in such a way that is not a loving way. Can you imagine how that makes him feel??? It breaks my heart! Anywhoooo, The more I ask for Humility, I am graced with it. That phone call I endured from my own blood the other day was a perfect example. I have learned so much about Humility. And guess what.... ITS A GOOD THING! Let me explain: The more I experience this Humility and educate myself on the actual scripture of The Word on the subject, The more it becomes very clear. Here is some of the scripture that come to heart: Matthew 5:3 God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God Blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted, God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied. God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses you when people MOCK you and PERSECUTE you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. BE HAPPY ABOUT IT! BE VERY GLAD! For a great reward waits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were prosecuted the SAME way. I have had MANY women, even men reach out to me since I started posting my testimonies and my experiences with turning my life over to the Lord. It has been overwhelming and a VERY positive way! I love getting those calls or personnel encounters with my brothers or sisters in Christ who struggle with the same things I always kept hush, hush about. It seems like everyone who reaches out to me has the same stuggles with Humility. It keeps jumping out with everyone I speak with who breaks down with their issues. Either they are persecuted on a daily basis by sometimes even their own blood, that they will never clean up their act or become better children of God. Some are even in situations where they simply cant get away from the daily reminders because of their circumstances. Its are really painful fact.... but I can DEFINITELY relate! When I got that phone call the other day fro that family member.... like I said, it was HARD. But I was STILL. I didnt react... or get suicidal.... And let the have their satisfaction on the other end of the line with their choice of words. But it did not bring me down. THATS HUGE FOR ME YALL!!! That is only for ONE REASON. I TRUSTS GOD with ALL of my heart. I knew that was just another way of him loving me by again showing me Humility... and for that I was grateful. If we start to endure humility, and show others the PURE example of Gods love by not reacting in ways of revenge and anger, I know others will start to have a change of heart. And more importantly maybe even start to turn to God as we are instead of using their energy to tear us down. (If they havent surrendered to our most high King yet of course.) It would be like a domino affect of Love to others.... an example. Here is some more scripture: John 13:6 Jesus Washes His Disciples Feet When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him, Lord, are you going to wash my feet? Jesus replied, You dont understand now what I am doing, but someday you will. No, Peter protested, you will never ever wash my feet! Jesus replies, Unless I wash you, you wont belong to me. Simon Peter exclaimed, Then wash my hands and head as well, Lord, not just my feet! Jesus replied: (I CRY EVERY TIME I READ THIS!) A person who has bathed all over does not need to wash, except for the feet, to be entirely clean. And you disciples are clean, but not all of you. For Jesus knew who would betray him. After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, Do you understand what I was doing? You cal me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, because thats what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have sashed your feet, you out to wash each others feet.I have given you EXAMPLE to follow. Do as I have dont to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater that their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them. (((TEAR))) Jesus knew.... HE KNEW some of these people would betray him... and he still washed their feet!!!!! How humiliating would that have been for any of us? That is Gods Love. And we NEED to be the way of his love to others. So, I hope this testimony helps ANYONE struggling with Humility. If you see it going down... my best advice is to EMBRACE IT! Dont let others bring you down, NO MATTER how dark our past is or how many mistakes we have made. Our behaviors in our past does not label who we are in out Spirits! Its that simple!!!! When you experience that Humility, be still, thank God, and maybe even pray for whoever is persecuting you. It sounds crazy to do yall... but I promise, when you are done, you will feel a peace that no other could fill you with. I love you all and am so grateful to have so many people reach out with their struggles. This is a HARD one guys.... but try it! I promise, things will start to become much more peaceful than before. Love you all and thank you for ALL of your loving words of Support!!! All I know is.... I WANT THAT MINK COAT!!! :D “We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success; we often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.” -Samuel Smiles
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 13:41:36 +0000
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