Thank God We All Dont Go Crazy At The Same Time... Out of the blue—and minus conscious provocation on my part—a guy who asked to become my friend on FB this morning suddenly attacked me—without the hint of an explanation as to how I had sinned or offended him; this person said i was grandiose, infantile and egomaniacal—and needed to do some serious inner work. All right, all right, I accept the fact that I have a big ego. Any Indian woman from a traditional patriarchal background who wants to break free of societal chains has to develop an enormous sense of personal self in order to liberate herself. At least I had to. And the fact that it is this same ego that causes all our human suffering is something I have long since accepted—or I can assure you I would not be here in Tiruvannamalai, when the whole world has been open to me. Nor do I make any bones about my multitudinous flaws: my imperfections are why I chose to settle in this small south Indian town dominated by the presence of a holy mountain that vows to destroy the ego in order to allow us to know ourselves as the Self—as sat-chit-ananda (existence-consciousness and bliss); my flaws are why I have committed to burn down this humungous ego that has plagued me for eons. Oddly enough, it is not this attack that concerns me as much as my own reaction to it—it has been decades since I first embarked on the inner journey: You would think I would know better than to be agitated by every stray rock, arrow and bomb hurled at me for breaking out of the matrix and becoming my own person. Clearly in this process of beginning to know who we truly are, we all mess up—we all rub people up the wrong way, say the wrong thing, behave like asses—it takes guts and integrity to fess up to these errors that we make along the long and winding road and then to pick ourselves off the dusty ground, wipe our sore bottoms and keep moving up the mountain. When I published my first novel, my nephew warned me to watch out for trolls and others who would attack me. He knows how sensitive I can be to negative energy and wished to protect me. I took his advice to heart but explained that there was no way that an indie author can avoid the trolls on social media. I would just have to toughen my hide and keep going nevertheless. My hide, however, is still not that tough—and nor do I want it to be so rhinoceros-hard that I cannot listen to what good people have to offer me. But I do wish it was tough enough to withstand the attacks of those who dont know me well enough to say cruel things, and not even bother to explain why. In the ultimate analysis, however, it is true that what does not break us only serves to make us stronger. That said, I wish to thank the hundreds of true friends who have touched my heart and soul and wished me nothing but peace and happiness as my comrades on the inner path. Advaita means Not Two—and any human (except for the realized jnani/sage) who says they can make it alone on this often tortuous path is either bullshitting or delusional. I definitely need the loving support of everyone in my close circle and in turn I offer them whatever I can, unstintingly, with love and as much humility as I can summon up. To deny that we are all supported along this road, in my opinion, is to deny the fact of our fragile humanity. In Manhattan, my friends would laugh and say: Thank God we all dont go crazy at the same time. Why? Because when one of us suffers, others can come to our aid, to comfort, solace and remind us that we are the light itself in human form. Now, as 2014 staggers to a halt and a new year looms, I want to take the opportunity to wish each and every one of you who will read this post a fabulous phase of discovering your true nature—which transcends being hurt by all insults and demeaning comments. Our true Self according to eastern philosophy is blissful immortality itself. May all the blessings that the Divine can shower on our mortal heads empower and strengthen us all for whatever may lie ahead!
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 07:54:35 +0000
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