Thank you for all the comments on here that truly and honestly keep me motivated to carry on in more ways than you know. Many people tell me I am strong and brave. The reality is for myself Im neither. I have to contemplate and negotiate situations in my mind that I wouldnt have even thought about before. Sometimes just getting into my car and driving to work feels like Im attempting a sky dive or a mountain climb. Inside Ive been reduced to a shadow of the woman I was. However, when it comes to Michael, Joe and Liam, I am the strongest woman alive. To keep them safe I would literally give my life. Most if not all of you would do the same for your own kids. Whats even more remarkable is that you stand up and take time out of your lives to support other people. Im still overwhelmed by that. I dont want to be mawdling, but the image of the crash which you will have seen in the last post is my torture forever - the pain and the anger of seeing this cripples me and feeds the shadow of a woman Ive become. It is also a reminder that Michael was in the front of that coach and it took 12 hours to free him. His injuries meant he was killed instantly but in my mind he was alone in the dark without his mum and all because of an old tyre and sheer greed. A new tyre would have cost £850 and lasted up to 10 years. Thats £85 a year. When Im asked about how small operators would cope with the cost of changing their tyres, I give them those figures and I tell them my sons life was priceless- nobody is going to even attempt to challenge that without a real fight. My answer ultimately is - if it isnt safe then dont do it! If you cant afford to operate a safe company then get another job! Nothing angers me more than somebody talking about money and profit over lives. It flies in the face of everything I work for, and every value I hold true inside of me. Apart from seeking justice which is what Michael, Kerry, and Colin deserve, I cant ever sit back and do nothing to prevent any other parent or family going through the torture and pain I exist with each and every day. When I hear news of somebody elses child dying or being killed, I honestly feel devastated for them and wish they didnt have to go through it as I know what is ahead of them. What is clear from this page is that the loss of a child unites people in such a powerful way. Even if youre not a parent, somehow you see and feel how devastating a loss this is. A young person dying is completely senseless and impacts deeply on us. It isnt the natural order of things and we cant comprehend it. It has destroyed my family in ways that we can never recover from. It has also destroyed so many lives and left a gaping hole for all of us. To sit back and do nothing and just somehow carry on with this existence would be the wrong thing to do- hes my son and his life was too important to just let him die in vain. Also, like I said before I just cant bear the thought of anybody else feeling this pain. I wouldnt wish it on anybody as theres no escape from it, ever. I hope we get justice and ultimately a change in the law on the use of tyres, but we could never have achieved it alone. Whatever the outcome of the public inquiry or the meeting with The Transport Secretary - Patrick McLouglin, you will all have played a big part. You should feel so proud and so good for taking the time to try and make a change and a difference. That just confirms to me the power and real strength that people have when they join together. I can never have Michael back, but I hope this campaign can save other lives, that is my ultimate aim. One final note - Michaels life was as a songwriter and musician. That is how he will always be remembered. Thank you for keeping who he really was alive in some way. With love and thanks always, Frances xxxx
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 09:00:27 +0000
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