Thanks to the suggestions of awesomely clever people, I have been working on a new bartering system which I shall put forward to the government at my earliest convenience. From this day forward the UK currency shall be cake. The following examples are to be used as a guideline only. (Other than the Battenberg bit). Victoria sponge - a small offering in exchange for perhaps new socks, a tooth brush or similar. Coffee and walnut cake - this would perhaps be exchanged for a new sofa, a microwave oven or a set of designer bed linen. Lemon drizzle cake - a new car, a holiday abroad or a conservatory. Carrot cake - An 18 bedroomed mansion with 100 acres of land and an indoor heated swimming pool...or a private Island. Please note that Battenberg is totally worthless within this bartering system. It will, in fact, be classed as an illegal substance. If you are found in possession of said substance you will be immediately incarcerated and subjected to a 10 step recovery programme involving vile and degrading acts of marzipan destruction. Consider yourself warned.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Dec 2014 12:04:26 +0000
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