Thanksgiving is upon us. It is that time of the year when we make a conscious effort to reflect on all of the things that we are thankful for. Heres the part where I tell you what I am thankful for. Let me start by saying, I am thankful for you. I am thankful for all that you have done to help me. The past 3 1/2 years have been some of the most incredible years of my life. I was tested. I was broken. I was ripped from life as I knew it... and dropped onto what felt like an entirely different planet. There was a time that I honestly thought happiness would elude us, forever. I remember crying in the shower, everyday. It was the hardest time in my life. My sons losing their father in the manner in which they did has been and will always be my deepest, hardest, most excruciating ache. An ache that will forever throb. Becoming a widow at 32 still doesnt seem real. It is my reality, our reality... and it will always be gut wrenching. It will always be painful. It will always.....be. In 3 1/2 years our reality has turned into a beautiful place for us to dwell. I am so damn thankful for time. Time takes us with it. Grieving or not, it keeps moving. I chose life for myself and my sons. I chose to talk about my life, my pain, my triumphs... and even though I have been judged for it the entire time, it never stopped me. It never will. Im proud of that. For every asshole who tried to tell me to shuttup, someone was messaging me and opening up. Worth it. No question or doubt in my mind, WORTH IT. Every decision I have made, every word I have ever shared... I stand by.... Even those days I wasnt at my best. I am thankful for where we have come. I am thankful that the terrible visions I had for life after loss, are nowhere near the pictures I get to see everyday. I am beyond thankful that our boys are thriving. Their smiles are my fuel. Always have been. Always will be. I am beyond thankful for the man I now call my husband, who shares with me the sheer joy of raising two amazing little boys. He is my best friend, my world. This Holiday season just feels, special. Maybe because for the first time, I think ever in my life, I feel peace. In our minds, just like on earth, may there be peace for every single one of us. I believe that peace in its finest form can only be felt when you know what turmoil feels like. From where we were then, to where we are now.... Thankful doesnt even begin to cover it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Posted on: Thu, 20 Nov 2014 03:02:36 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015