The 12 myths of Christmas Shop till you drop. Make sure you have that tree, lights and mistletoe … Little wonder people say the true meaning of Christmas has been lost. But are these mixed messages themselves just another time-honoured tradition of the season? Even the event it’s all supposed to be celebrating is steeped in mystery. You’ve heard it before: Mary, the mother of God, was heavily pregnant and travelling by donkey with her husband, Joseph. Christmas, even then, was a busy time: The inn was booked out. So they holed up in a cave where Mary gave birth surrounded by shepherds and angles — before the fashionably late Three Wise Kings arrived. But where did this tale come from before it was buried in a mire of glossy brochures, blaring adverts and the pressure of keeping up with the Joneses? Two of the New Testament’s four gospels say nothing about the birth of the Christ child. And the two that do make passing mention of this significant event give differing accounts. No donkey was harmed in the making of this tale it would seem: The humble beast warrants no mention in biblical accounts. And then there’s some dispute about the trip itself. Matthew seems to say Mary and Joseph fled Bethlehem to Egypt, before returning to Nazareth. Luke says the happy couple came from Nazareth and went to Bethlehem before returning home. Perhaps in one account it was Joseph who was navigating, and Mary in the other (another time-honoured Christmas tradition) … It’s a moral tale many bemoan as being lost among the rush for food, drink and bounteous gifts. Not to mention the queues, credit card statements and cranky relatives you wish you didn’t have to see but once a year. So have retailers really ruined Christmas by adding all the tinsel and hard-stretched tall-tales? Or was Christmas already something other than what we think? In reality, the Bible gives little clue as to when the Christ child was born. The strongest indication is in the line we all know from the song “while shepherds watched their flocks by night” … So it was probably one of the warmer months. And we’re told Mary and Joseph were on their way to a census. Records show these were usually held in September or October. Either way, it was always bound to be a significant event for early believers. And they were up against some pretty stiff competition: One of the ascendant cults up against the fledgling religion was that of Sol Invictus — a new take on the ancient sun god. He, like the many different takes on a sun god, had a pretty significant birthday party — the Winter Solstice. In the northern hemisphere, this was usually on or about December 25 — the point at which the seasons swung from its march into winter back towards the life-giving spring. And then there was the Romans and their Saturnalia: A week-long party ending on December 23 which was celebrated by the giving of gifts. So why not take the competition head-on, and plagiarise their more popular products? The bible doesn’t come with a calendar. Most of its time references have to be calculated and compared to the records of other cultures to give us something approaching an accurate idea. In the case of when the manger in Bethlehem was otherwise occupied, we have a few hints: Reference to King Herod (who died in AD4) and the occupation of Israel by the Roman Empire (which began in 63BC) among them. But it was an Early Christian theologian, the Romanian monk Dionysius Exiguus, who, in 500AD, first put the effort into pinning it down. He figured the Christ child was born some 753 years after another significant event — the foundation of Rome by the child wonder Romulus. According to the Gospel of St Matthew (the only place it is mentioned), a star was supposed to have guided the Three Wise Men to Bethlehem. “When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.”That’s about all we know. We don’t really know if it moved (though of course stars rotate in the night sky). We don’t know if it beamed a revealing light on the manger. It’s more likely to have been a planet shining in a portentous astrological position deemed significant at the time — such as when Jupiter, Mars and Saturn were aligned in the constellation Pices in 6 and 5BC. What we do know is there is no record of what would otherwise have been a worldwide phenomenon: An especially bright supernova. The Chinese back then were quite particular about recording strange lights in the sky. They saw comets in 4 and 5BC. But these were not deemed terribly significant. In fact, significance is a problem when it comes to comets: The ‘bearded stars’ were almost universally seen as bad omens — and real wise men would be seen running the other way. It seems something was lost in translation here. Generally, Matthew 2:1 is read as saying “magi (wise men) from the east”. Not kings. Any royal visit to a major Roman province — especially by three kings in unison — would likely have gained some attention among the historians (and governors) of the time. And what were “wise men” anyway? Astrologers? Philosophers? It seems the only reason we think there were three of them is because they gave three gifts — gold, frankincense and myrrh. Surely no wise man would be so inconsiderate as to not give a gift? But perhaps five pitched in for the gold, three the myrrh and one had some unwanted frankincense stashed in a cupboard? Even their names are a much later addition: Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar first appear in a mosaic from the sixth-century church of Sant’Apollinare Nuovo in Rome. Christ himself. In the case of the Christ child, his legitimacy would be argued in two books of the Bible — Matthew and Luke. The problem is, these lists of names have very little overlap apart from the start point — King David — and the end point — Joseph. The numbers are also out: Matthew says there were 28 generations between David and Christ. Luke lists 41. But it is by no means impossible. Kings have it easy: King David’s dalliance with Bathsheba being a case in point. Modern DNA testing has linked huge swathes of Europe’s modern population to their medieval kings. Some studies even suggest 70 per cent of Britain is “related” to Egypt’s King Tut. And as for Ghengis Khan? Don’t go there … It may be the most heavily promoted Christian tradition. But it’s not the most important day on their calendar. That’s supposed to be Easter — when the prophecies and promises all came to fruition. (Commercially, though, Easter is irritatingly only associated with chocolate so it attracts less advertising dollars). Indeed, for many Christians, the notion of celebrating the 12 days of Christmas was originally offensive. It became a major point of difference between Catholics and Protestants in the 16th and 17th Centuries. In London, Christmas carols, loud celebrations and drinking were banned in 1644 (what a good idea!) The US cities of Boston and Plymouth actually made Christmas itself illegal between 1659 and 1681 (the Puritan settlers felt any kind of merrymaking was sinful). Laws were passed to force businesses to remain open on Christmas Day and town criers were hired to broadcast their grinchy message: “No Christmas, no Christmas! New England didn’t accept Christmas as a valid holiday until 1856. This one is odd. The Bible itself appears to scorn the practice of decorating trees — something associated with pagan religions and their sacred groves and mystic mistletoe. So says Jeremiah 10: “Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the sky, though the nations are terrified by them. For the customs of the peoples are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel. They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter. Like a scarecrow in a melon patch, their idols cannot speak; they must be carried because they cannot walk. Do not fear them; they can do no harm nor can they do any good.” This rule — when tied to the one about worshipping false idols — appeared to hold true until about 1761. This is when the wife of Britain’s King George III, Charlotte, brought the exotic German practice of dressing up trees into the royal court. All things royal being fashionable, the idea soon took off … And not without controversy. In 1851 an emigrant German priest put up a tree in his Cleveland, Ohio, church. It was scandalous. The New York Times raged against the Yuletide tree as pagan in the 1880s. As recently as the 1930s, US President “Teddy” Roosevelt sought to have the tradition trashed. Saint Nicholas — the divine Bishop from Turkey — is the one we’re all told the jolly old fellow is based on. But this 4th Century missionary has undergone more than just a makeover. There are many suggested origins for the rosy old man we see in all the stores now, but one of the prime contenders isn’t even Christian. It was the Norse god Woden — a god of magic powers and miracle healing. Legend had it he rode his eight-legged horse Sleipnir through the skies on midwinter night, visiting households to dispense gifts of goodwill (along with the more familiar kind). But the old guy really derives from satirical author Washington Irving in 1809 and a (then brown-clad) dwarf from the 1822 illustrated poem (of disputed ownership), The Night Before Christmas. And, yes, it was Coca Cola which gave us the comical jolly red-dressed character we all now love and loathe. Okay, it’s not actually Christmas — but it is one of the many Christmas traditions. Word has it Boxing Day was for boxing up and stashing away the clutter of unwanted gifts. Some grinches suggest the boxing was actually taking the gifts back to the stores for a refund. But it’s wrong. The origins are much more generous. It started in medieval Britain when churches there began to open their doors — and alms boxes — to indulge the poor with Christmas charity. It was also the day off for those who had to work on Christmas Day: The servants, cooks, drivers and pages who had to guarantee everything went right on the night for their noble employers. These days its more about sports and recovering from the previous day’s overindulgences. It’s another of those pagan traditions which have made their way down into common culture. Mistletoe had particular power in ancient European religions. Prophecy declared the Norse god Baldur — the god of the summer sun — would soon be killed. His mother and wife begged the elements (earth, fire and water), and all the plants and animals to leave their son alone. But they forgot one — the humble mistletoe — presented something of a loophole. This was exploited by the evil god Loki who formed the parasitic wood into an arrow which pierced Baldur’s heart. But, three days later, the plant’s distinctive red berries bloomed under Baldur’s mother’s tears — and raised the god from the dead. So mistletoe was hung from doors so all could benefit from the goddesses gratitude. The story, long connected with the fertility rites of the Winter Solstice to which Christmas became attached, has obvious Christian undertones which were quickly co-opted. Surely Mary wore stockings? Next you’ll be telling us she didn’t shave her armpits! Well, this Christmas tradition has no link to the biblical tradition at all — even though it may be older than decorating trees. But before you give this one the boot, consider this legend of Saint Nicholas: He supposedly snuck into the home of proud but impoverished parents and filled their unmarried daughters’ stockings — which had been hung out to dry — with gold coins. With such a rich dowry, they could be offloaded on to anyone their parents wanted! Though the origins of the stocking tradition is murky, some speculate it has more to do with the flimsy bags once used to deliver fruit being used as cheap, convenient Christmas packaging. It’s an abbreviation generally blamed on the US constitution’s demand that all things religious be kept apart from the secular state. It’s long been met with the cry: “Don’t take Christ out of Christmas!”. “X”. It works with X-files, but does the X-factor cut it for Christmas? Perhaps not. Or perhaps it does. Christ is written in the original Greek of the Gospels as Χριστός. The “X” (The Greek letter “Chi”) could, therefore, just be an old abbreviation. We know is was used that way: The combination of “Chi” with the letter “Rho” is one of the very first Christian symbols. Some also argue the “X” is just a toppled form of the sign of the cross — another key Christian icon. So whether or not Xmas is heretical or canon is similar to all of the above: Whether it holds a rightful place or not in the festive season comes down to a matter of personal preference.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 05:19:41 +0000
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