The Achievements Of The Nigerian National Assembly In This Fourth Republic Warri Grammar School: SSS3 Government Class  Teacher: Class, what are the functions of the Nigerian National Assembly? Akpos: To set up Probe Panels and demand for bribes from the firms and people who they want to probe. Okoro: To accuse the firms and people who refuse to give them bribes of mismanagement and fraud, drag them to their Probe Panels, and probe, blackmail and witch-hunt them. Adamu: E.g. Pension Fund Looting Saga where the Senators in the Probe Panel were alleged to have collected N3 billion bribes in dollars from the Lootocrats [pension fund looters], Oteh vs Honourable Hembe SEC Probe Panel Saga where it was alleged that Hon. Hembe demanded N5 million in ghana-must-go etc. I watched these scenes on NTA about six months ago. Ekaitte: More examples, Power Sector Probe Panel where panel members were involved in N100 million bribery scandal and N6 billion contract scam; Education Budget Panel (in 2005) where panel members and Education Minister were involved in N55 million bribery scandal and the latest bombshell in town - Fuel Subsidy Probe Panel where Farouk Integrity was caught on camera receiving $500,000 bribe (or is it money) in Ghana-must-go or is it in cap! – sorry, I mean $500,000 cash. Teacher: (Surprised with their answers) Class, excuse me! Did I hear you correctly! You said….. Tokunbo: (Cuts in) You heard us correctly, Auntie [Teacher]. Some of the members of the National Assembly are rogues and armed robbers according to Baba Iyabo. They engage in professional roguery, pen robbery and …. Teacher: (cuts in) Class, you are wrong! I mean functions of …. Okoro: (Cuts in) We are right! While I was watching DTV six months ago, I saw Former President Olusegun Obasanjo say “…today, rogues, armed robbers are in the State Houses of Assembly and the National Assembly.” Akpos: Auntie, we are right. Former President Olusegen Obasanjo should know members of the National Assembly better than you do. Adamu: Akpos, supported. Former President Olusegun Obasanjo as a former President of Nigeria has worked with members of the National Assembly and most of them are his friends and Godsons. So he knows them very well more than any other person. Teacher: Eh! Wonders shall never end!....(Stupefied and short of words) Okoro: Some members of the National Assembly are 419ners too. They engage in part-time 419 to supplement the bribes and loot that they make from the National Assembly. Adamu: I can now remember vividly. That’s correct! I watched the scene on ITV three years ago, when Senator Nuhu Aliyu said that 419ners were in the National Assembly. Tokunbo: Senator Nuhu Aliyu, a retired Deputy Inspector-General of Police and former Chairman, Senate Committee on Security and National Intelligence, knew what he was talking about. He must have investigated some 419 cases involving members of the National Assembly during his thirty-five-year career in the Nigerian Police. Akpos: Good! (Clapping) Senator Nuhu Aliyu said he handcuffed and arrested a serving Senator then and put him in prison for involvement in 419 when he was in Nigerian Police. Adamu: Also Professor Pat Utomi said that he was duped by a serving senator. Teacher: (Visibly angry) Class, do you think we are here to joke! Akpos: (Confidently) No! we are here to learn and we are learning very fast too, Auntie. So far, we have used real-life scenarios from the floor of Nigerian National Assembly and home grown democracy to support and prove our answers right and not fictitious and imaginary examples from foreign democracy lifted from outdated textbooks probably written more than fifty years ago. (Class clapping for Akpos intelligent submission) Okoro: Home grown Democracy?! No, it should be “home grown Lootocracy”. Tokunbo: Or home grown Kleptocracy. Ekaitte: Or home grown Cabalocracy. Adamu: Or home grown Corrptocracy and Briberocracy. Akpos: Home Grown Lootocracy, Kleptocracy, Cabalocracy, Corruptocracy, Briberocracy, Ghana-Must-Gocracy, Godfatherocracy or Godsonocracy even Babacracy - all join for Home Grown Democracy! (Several rounds of applause for Akpos again and again!) Adamu: Auntie, are you not the one that taught us that observation is one of the best way to learn? Tokunbo: And you always encourage us to listen to radio and watch television news programmes, that they are very educative and enlightening? Teacher: (Speechless for a while) Look at what the exposure to the Nigerian corrupt democracy has done to my students. God help us! (Shaking her head, it dawned on her that she has lost control of her class to Akpos and Co with Akpos as the ringleader) Akpos: (Agile and hungry for more questions) Auntie, any more questions?! Teacher: (Lost composure and confused) See you next week. Happy Independence Day celebrations! (Walks away) Laugh off your sorrows and that stress to stay healthy! Good Morning! Wish you all Happy Independence Day!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Oct 2013 07:27:12 +0000
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