The Adventures of the Happily Unemployed #1453: 9:11 am: Fit a desk into my condo elevator with the back of my chair facing the door. Upon the person entering, in a low deep voice Ive been expecting you, but youre late for your appointment so unfortunately I cannot see you today. Upon the door opening instruct them to Please leave now and See if my secretary can book you in for tomorrow instead. 11:20 pm: While sitting in a cafe with my bluetooth headset on in a white shirt and black tie looking rather stressed. Loudly and worriedly provide directions pretending Im helping a spaceship avoid a massive meteorite shower. 1:45 pm: Pick a sturdy man while out on my daily art and nature walk (i.e. walk to the liquor store.) Jump onto his back and whisper in his year We got this Sea Biscuit! I believe in you! Now lets show these people Black Beauty aint got shit on us as you dig your heels into his stomach and make clucking noises to make him run faster. 3:30 pm: Drop a pen in a crowded space. Look at the people infront of you with a polite, helpless, expecting look and start whispering mama say mama sa mama mamoosa under your breath, gradually increasing the volume until they have no choice but to reach and help pick it up, then scream, Hey! Thats mine!!
Posted on: Fri, 29 Nov 2013 16:23:58 +0000
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