The Answering Machine C. Martin Stepp Hi, Bill? This is Hank, your neighbor. I thought you were home. I wanted to thank you for lending me your riding mower. I couldn’t believe mine wouldn’t start, it’s not that old. I’m afraid I have some bad news. I was hoping to speak to you in person. I was mowing the lawn and your cat came into my yard. That stupid cat just wandered over and stood right in front of me! I tried to turn so I wouldn’t hit it. You know, the steering on that old mower of yours isn’t very good. I’m afraid I was unable to stop or turn in time to avoid hitting the cat. I’m sorry. Anyway, I was looking over my shoulder at the bits of fur and cat all over my lawn. I didn’t realize I had gotten so close to the tree… you know, that big, old elm at the corner of my lawn? When I turned around, it was too late to try to stop or turn to avoid it. Your old mower hit it, and fell over. I’m okay, I’m okay. I was able to roll off and get away from it before it caught fire. I guess some gas spilled on the hot engine when it tipped over. It just burst into flame! I ran to the side of my house to get the garden hose. By the time I turned on the water and untangled the hose, the fire from the mower caught the tree on fire. I really thought you were home. I saw your car in the driveway. That was a nice car. I know you’ve only had it for a few months. I was surprised at how fast that gasoline fire had burned through the base of that old tree. Before I could put the fire out, the tree had fallen right on your car! When the tree fell over, most of it was on fire too. I suppose it had damaged the gas tank on your car when it fell on it. Whatever the reason was, your whole car burst into fire shortly after that. I ran into the house to call the fire department. When I came back outside… you know that wooden fence you used to have running alongside your driveway? The one that went up to your garage? Did you keep a lot of gasoline containers or something in there? It sure went up like the fourth of July! Fortunately the fire trucks showed up about that time. Some of our neighbors are still gathering on the street in front of your house watching the excitement. I guess it’s a good thing you are not home right now. It’s starting to look like the entire house is on fire now. Anyway, I’m sorry about the cat. You can call me back if you want to. I might not be here. I’m moving to Mexico. *beep*
Posted on: Sun, 16 Jun 2013 03:52:40 +0000
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