The Bible talks about joy in the midst of anguish and I always wondered if that were possible....to actually find joy in the very midst of anguish. I discovered that you can, or at least I did. You see, when I was enroute to Romania for my mission trip two weeks ago I got a call while on my 10 hour layover in London, about an hour after we landed to be exact. It was from the Volusia Co Sherriffs department in Florida calling to let me know that my father had passed away. A deputy was sent to my house the day before and he missed us by 30 minutes, we had already left for the airport. My father and I were not close. His daddy instinct never turned on, nor did his father instinct for that matter, so he was absent most of my life. I always wondered how I would react once I found out he had died and I found out in the middle of the airport in London. I was heartbroken. I had plenty of time to decide if I was going to continue on to Romania or try to make my way back home. I continued on my journey. There was nothing I could do, I am his only child and he was already gone. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Ten days away from home, from my family, with my grief, my anguish... was very difficult. I was with my pastor, his wife and daughter and a few other people from church. I was with my friends, my extended family. That is the only thing that made it bearable. That and God to carry me thru it. I was there to do HIS work. To tell people about HIM. People who otherwise may never know. Now, how I found joy in the midst of anguish. Simply put....HIM. I was in the middle of some of the most beautiful country side I have ever seen. I was staying with some of the most wonderful, giving people Ive ever known, people I now consider my friends. I saw Romanians and Roma people that have nothing, who have only known poverty their whole lives. Poverty in America by the way, is nothing to what I saw over there. I got to play with children who were so excited just to get a sucker. I got to hug them and love on them. Joy in the midst anguish. I got to hold the hand of an 83 year old woman, who is a believer, who may not be on this earth much longer. We sang Amazing Grace with her. Joy in the midst of anguish. I got to hold babies in the abandoned baby hospital...joy in the midst of anguish. I got to play with 5 children in an interim orphanage, a 6 month holding place if you will. Six months to see if the parents would come back for them, parents who never would. I got to go to the movies and watch Pinnochio in Romanian with them. Joy in the midst of anguish. I got to fall in love with Lola, one of the Bruski familys dogs. Love her so much I want to bring her back to America to live with my sister if they will let me have her. ( Popeye wont let me have her). Lola is pregnant and looks up at me with love and trust in her eyes when I rub her baby bump. Joy in the midst of anguish. I got to talk with God as I walked looking at the sunflower fields as far as the eye could see. Joy in the midst of anguish. As I walked thru the Roma (gypsy) villages, looking at the despair, feeling the sadness, I thanked God for his blessings in my life. I thanked HIM for loving me and for sending HIS only son to die for me. Joy in the midst of anguish. I found a peace again, that I hadnt felt in a long time. Joy in the midst of anguish. The night before I left Romania I found out my grandmother may not live thru the night. We got back to the states in the wee hours of the morning of Aug 1st after traveling a little more than 24 hours to get back home. I slept a few hours then went to the hospital to spend the night with her, to give my sister some rest. As I lay on an army cot next to her, I slept and I woke up in the middle of the night and thanked God for letting me see her again. Joy in the midst of anguish. I crawled up in the bed with her when she woke up the next morning and started crying ( alzheimers patients cry for no reason). Joy in the midst of anguish. I went to Florida on Sunday and attended a small celebration of life for my father that his friends had. I looked at pictures he had that I hadnt seen in a very long time. Joy in the midst of anguish. I spent the past 2 days arranging his cremation, picking up his death certificate, taking care of things. Even though he wasnt there for all the important things in my life, I was there for him when he needed me most. As his only child, his next of kin, I did right by him. I made sure he was taken care of with respect and dignity. Joy in the midst of anguish. This is probably one of the few most personal things you will ever see me post, but I had to tell you about finding joy in the midst of anguish. You can find it too, if you will let HIM show you. I go back to Florida next week to spread my fathers ashes in the St Johns River. Im wondering if I will still find joy in the midst of anguish. A few days after that I will go back to work after having a month off. When Im feeling up to it I will tell you about my trip to Romania as many of you have asked. Have a good night peeps. ♡
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 01:03:27 +0000
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