The Bombay Diary by Deepika Shetty (Copyright Protected - TM) 14 November 2014 at 13:02 She arrived the way girls like her do. Announcing her arrival before her actual arrival. Going to the spa at Mumbai airport wasnt part of my check-in plan. But those aromas wafting in theee air made it a potential heaven on earth...or shall I say heaven at the airport? I stood in the queue behind 3 Japanese men. They silently checked in. There was stillness all round. It was all I needed. This was perfect. This was Om Shanti Om. Literally. Each of us took our seats for a 30-minute Foot Reflexology session. There was just one seat empty between mine and those taken by the silent Japanese men. On my left was a gora dude who had already slipped into slumber as the therapist relaxed all his overworked foot nerves. I tip-toed for fear of waking him up. I shouldnt have been that concerned because S arrived soon after. I have a free massage voucher for my shopping. I want my foot massage now!!! a shrieking voice shrieked as naturally as it could. I could tell the girls at the front desk were trying to get her to adjust her volume. It wasnt working. Clearly. She popped her head and shrieked again: I have my voucher. I am taking that chair. I want my massage NOW. By which point the gora next to me was fully awake. The Japanese men had the same expression as mine - our quiet foot massage is doomed. S decided to enter from my side. A total meteor from the Disco past. She was in one of those export extra white shaneel track suits with stars at the back. The track suit was clearly four sizes too small for her. Her abs looked like they needed major work. Her Indian Ocean Butt suddenly made mine feel very good. As she moved her generously endowed butt past my face I couldnt take my eyes off her Enormously Visible Bridget Jones Styled Visible Panty Line (VPL). All I could think in that reflective VPL moment was - What would my fashionista Keith Fernandez say? This was Da Daaath via the VPL. It was just the beginning... S was here. She wasnt into stillness. Now, she wanted her friends to know. She sat next to me, yanked her phone out of her fake LV and called the entire motherload of friendship kay side effects. Can you believe it? she announced her voice getting shriller by the moment as she addressed her friends now on either sides of our long massage stretch. I shopped and got a massage for free. It was impossible to ignore S or her extended circle of friends. They were like a fish market in a Spa. The therapists were rolling their eyes. The gora next to me was holding his head in his hands in utter despair. Thats when my inner voice connected with my mortal frame and I shouted out as loud as I could: Can You Just Shut Up??? For heavens sake this is a SPA. There were multiple moments of stillness after that. I was stunned I had actually said it. I am no longer prone to such vocal outbursts. I believe I have mellowed with age...till I met S. She made me quite naturally re-connect with a voice, I had long forgotten. Her friends beat a hasty exit through the very door they had made their entry. The Japanese men on my right made their quiet multiple bows to say Shukran. The gora next to me gave me a thumbs up and a high 5. The therapists all smiled. S finally Shut Up for the next 10 minutes. When her time was up, she asked for one extra rub on her foot. The therapist simply stood up and told her, her 15 minutes were up. What she had got was all she was getting. I paid for 30 minutes and got a 60 minute foot massage instead. And slept like a baby through my Mumbai to Singapore flight. It was the first time I had slept as much on any flight. Every part of this story is fact but I will soon turn it into fiction. That is the inherent beauty of fiction. Let the next story begin...
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 11:18:37 +0000
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