The Conflict-Triangle Developing our understanding of conflict further from the “Iceberg-Model”, one can draw a triangle, where all aspects playing a role in a conflict fit in: Behaviour statements, offences, insults, attacks, etc. visible I n v i s i b l e Behaviour - statements, offences, insults, attacks, etc. Attitude - prejudices, believes, perceptions, feelings Context - political, cultural, economical, historical background This ABC (Attitude-Behaviour-Context) – Conflict Triangle was first developed by Prof. Johan Galtung and provides an excellent basic concept for the analysis of even very complex conflict situations: A First, there are the Attitudes (A) of the conflicting parties, which tend to become more defensive or even hostile as the conflict escalates. In order to finally reach settlement of the conflict, the parties must first become aware of their attitudes and perceptions towards each other. B Attitude in conflict situations not only influences one’s own Behaviour (B), but is very much affected by the Behaviour of others. Insults or provocations make it more difficult to see the mutual benefit of ending a conflict. Therefore it is essential to find ways of tackling the negative behaviour in order to defuse the situation. C Finally, we need to consider the Context (C) within which the conflict is being waged. Context is the ‘objective’ reality to which the conflict relates and the environment in which it takes place. If we ignore the influence of the context, all changes in attitudes and behaviour will be in vain. Various factors in the context can either fuel or block a positive and transformative development of a conflict. Introduction to Mediation Three Basic Principles: 1) Conflicting parties are the ones to solve their own conflicts! Mediator helps through the process! 2) Conflicting parties attack problem not persons! Mediator guides to respectful behaviour! 3) Conflicting parties decide on contents and agreement! Mediator provides constructive framework and continuous support! Mediation – Four Phases Introduction Phase: In the welcoming and during the introduction, the parties are introduced to one another and the mediation process is explained. Here the mediators create a friendly and constructive atmosphere. They attune to the parties, clarify ground rules and general regulations, and allow for questions. CHARACTERISTICS POSSIBLE QUESTIONS Phase I: Defining the conflict Identify those directly and those indirectly involved. Identify context, e.g. social What happened? What did you experience? Where do you see the problems? What is the context of the conflict? Phase II: Background, Barriers, Emotions Description of difficulties Expression of feelings How do you feel? Which negative experiences did you have? What did the conflict do to you? Which feelings came up? Did you have positive experiences? Phase III: Create Options / Best possible outcome? Encourage visions and dreams Generate wishes and options Envision a positive future What is going to happen now? What do you wish for now? What would be the most suitable solution? What kind of relationship do you envisage for the future? Phase IV: Agreement Stage Work on priorities Develop course of action Envision a positive future What can you do in reality? What do you expect from the other? What can you put into practice? (realistic) What are you both prepared to do? How will you do it and who will do what? Final Phase: Follow-up & Implementation Days, weeks or months later… How did it work out? What was good? What improvements are still necessary? Some Ground Rules for a Mediation Process: 1. No offences or insults 2. Clarify Issue of Confidentiality 3. Parties agree to respect each other 4. Treat each others’ emotions with respect 5. Try to listen (even) without (inner) judgment 6. No interruptions when the other party is speaking 7. Parties speak only for themselves, if possible using I-messages. 8. Everybody takes full responsibility of his/her own words & actions! Ethics for Mediators: o Respect for individuals and their biography. Consider their own speed of learning and that their individual learning steps will be different from yours. Acknowledge and deal with parties’ different cultures, religions, genders, traditions, values, education etc. o Consciousness of own role in intervention into conflict. What gives me the right or obligation to mediate? Is it an institutional, moral, family, hierarchical, professional, competence etc. position? Did the parties or someone else choose you as mediator? Checklist: Before you bring the parties together, have preparatory meetings with the individual parties, where you: • Explain mediation process • Explain possible benefits of mediation • Explore initial unrealistic positions/expectations and sensitive issues Set date & time for the mediation meeting, and invite conflicting parties, according to the correct legal procedures! Paraphrasing Paraphrasing is a very important tool you can use, especially as a mediator. It means to restate what another person has said, in your own words, with emphasis on what is said ‘between the lines’, This way you can show the other party that you connect, or understand the other person’s feelings. Paraphrasing is a powerful tool: 1. For showing that you understand the other person or party 2. For moving the conversation to deeper levels: Paraphrasing often brings more reflective responses from the other party. 3. For slowing down the conversation between parties if needed 4. For speeding up the process if needed, by making long and complicated sentences comprehensible for yourself and others. 5. It can defuse defensive or insulting statements while retaining the facts. How to paraphrase: 1. Focus on the speaker: “You felt…” , “You’re saying…”, “You believe…” NOT: “I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been in situations like that myself.” 2. A paraphrase can have three components: a) Restate fact: “Your wife locked you out of the house.” b) Reflect feelings: “(And) you feel discouraged about things getting any better.” c) Reflect intention: “(But) you really like to sort things out with her.” 3. A paraphrase focuses on what was really said and contains no judgement or evaluation, but describes empathically. “So you believe very strongly that…”, “You were very unhappy when…”, “You felt quite angry with your neighbour in that situation…”, “The way you see it…”, “If I’m understanding you correctly, you…”, NOT: “What you are trying to say, is…” There are two critical qualities of an emotion or feeling: o What feeling is it ? o How intense is this feeling ? 4. Act like a mirror not a parrot! Paraphrase reflects the meaning of the speaker’s words but does not merely parrot the speaker, e.g.: Speaker: “I resent it deeply when I found out they had gone behind my back to the boss. Why can’t they come and talk with me, and give me a chance to sort things out with them?” Paraphrase: “You were quite hurt that they didn’t come directly to you to resolve things.” NOT: “You resented it deeply that they went behind your back to the boss. You wish they had given you a chance to sort things out with them.” 5. A paraphrase should always be shorter than the speaker’s own statement!
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 13:03:49 +0000
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