The Devil Right Hands Diary.( A Christmas Story ...... ) ..A 20-watt light at the center of the ceiling.Its light scalded my brain.I closed my eyes.Time passed.I opened my eyes again,slowly.I could probably have got to my feet but decided not to try for a week.... That hard metal stretcher felt wonderful.I flexed my torn,bruised muscles and tried to reopen my swollen eyes.I feigned death.....perhaps i have a natural talent for it;I found it very easy..... My three weeks indefinite leave had sped to a close,i had spent it doing little or nothing unless you are prepared to consider sorting through my collection of military history books a job fit for fully grown male,not many of my friends were so prepared.The Military Academy every young mans dream,to be selected among the few...... Now i was free...out of the military,as a civilian....... Life was harsh after then,been through a lot of readjustments to survive a kind of living. Tried to settle down and live a normal way of life..But it seems bad luck is always lurking behind.. A seething pain inside of me,when my eldest sister passed away..I stood there wet and cold in the rain at the funeral..saw my mother cried holding on to my father,my two younger sisters and a brother also stood with tears in their eyes...The sky so gloomy and gray,it was dusk when i left the cemetery... I tried to let both ends meet with my family,and be oblivious of the hard knocks of life.Got into all sorts of usual ordinary jobs and been a typical salesman working and visiting industrial plants and sugar centrals in our place,meeting different types of persons as i traveled a lot.Rural and urban areas all the same...when you are a wage slave...My mother died after 3 years,that time i was out of town and got the news when i arrived at the office that afternoon,the whole world seem to collapsed when i immediately rushed to our hometown 35 km from the City,and found my mother on her death bed.years later my youngest sister followed her on the other side of midnight.my whole being so numb to accept our fate,Im helpless and started to hate and questioned the existence of God...Our family suffered in poverty,since my father retired unprepared from a sugar central company,the time where the sugar industry was on traumatic trance,amid the lurking strikes of the sugar workers...By the time i moved my own family to live in the City.Seldom my father and i seen each other.Trying to beat the odds,the city became my hunting ground for survival.Been in all sorts of dealings to make extras,yet life was still a dragged....Until i met a retired old officer from the military.He was a big muscled and intelligent officer and gentleman.Principled and God fearing in his late 60s before he passed away.He taught me a lot about life,he was like a 2nd father to me.My mentor.1996,An early streaks of golden rays percolate the dawn,a traveling bag strapped on my shoulder,my wife holding my hand as we walked the city streets trying to catch a cab,my boat leaves before 0600hrs.Arriving at the dock,i gave my wife a hug and kissed her,teary eyed i went on board never to looked back.I woke up saying to myself,Todays the day,But i didnt feel much like getting out of bed just the same.I could hear the rain even before i drew the curtains back.October in Manila.The rain drenched tree outside was whipping itself into a frenzy.I closed the curtains quickly,danced across the damp smelling room and scooped up the morning rag and tried to get the headlines and sat heavily to wait while the kettle boiled.I struggled into the dark worsted and khaki polo shirt.Had to wait 30 minutes or more for a cab.It always had made me feel a little self-conscious asking about the route to cab drivers,at one time i had asked for the resto bar or said Ill tell you when to stop.When i got out the cab had brought to the glass walled commercial building,and had to walk round the block to the entrance beside the bank.The office at the 3rd floor room 134 was just like any other;the standard four gray filing cabinets,two desks fixed together face to face by the window.Cris,the man i had come to see,looked up from the writing that had held his undivided attention since three seconds after I had entered the room.Cris said,Well ,now, and coughed nervously.HHow was your trip?Cris and I had come to an arrangement of some year standing.Because we are from the same province,this vitriolic relationship manifested itself in oriental politeness.Take a seat,well,now,smoke? I answered him.No thanks.After a search for his small metal rimmed spectacles,Cris went through my appointment rigmarole with loving attention to detail.We began by discussing about the secret compensation contract.You are loving it here,of course?Cris asked.I have a clean mind and pure heart.I get enough sleep every night.I am a loyal,diligent employee and will attempt everyday to be worthy of the trust my paternal employer puts in me.Ill make the jokes, said Cris.Go ahead,I said. I can use a laugh-my eyes have been operating twenty four frames per second for the last month.Cris tightened a shoe lace.Think you can handle a tricky little special assignment?If it doesnt demand a classical education,I might be able to grope around it.Cris said,Surprise me.do it without complaint or sarcasm. It wouldnt be the same. I said.Cris swung his feet to the floor and became deliberate and serious. Ive been across to some friends in politics conference this morning.They are worried sick about these drug dependents and criminals with backings from influential people and politicians as well.They could easily elude arrest and detentions.has there been another then? I asked.This morning. said Cris. The body of a young girl working night shift at a burger junction was found dead,her body sprawled naked over the grassy vacant lot in a subdivision some place there in Cavite,her head smashed by a hollow block and was stabbed several times in the body.The parents asking for justice for their daughters death,as she was the bread winner in the family,having little brothers and sisters to supportCris said.Have they caught the perpetrators? I asked.Yes,but he was able to post bail and still roam the streets at night.Cris said.. A remorseful feeling encysted my being.We are living in a kind of society who believes in Democracy and our justice system. The test of life is undeniably unfair for the battle between pursuances and hindrances would always come in parallel.Yet,for one to survive in this survival of the fittest.One has to become the the predator instead of being just the Prey.I still remember what my old man told me.Sometimes good men are engulfed in evil surroundings and doings,but as long as you keep a space in your heart that is pure,you can easily surpass all the challenges.Cris gave me a look calculated to have me feeling like an employee.He got to his feet and walked across to the window.I walked across to him. How would I start?I said......The evening was cold and damp after the rain,street lights lined the city streets,and neons iridescently in array.Cris got out from the car we had parked two hours ago by the side of the street across a resto bar in Makati.And walked across and entered the resto bar.I followed him,walked slowly and relaxed.I sat beside him and tried to be observant of my surroundings.We ordered our drinks.Cris settled for brandy and me my usual crisp vodka on ice.Cris signaled to look where hes been looking at few minutes ago.From the crowd of diners,I saw the figure that served the purpose of why we are there.Cris finally gave me his final instructions.And left ahead without looking back.The figure seem so proud and so confident about his status in life.Just observed him well enough and tried to familiarized him better.Got nothing personal his just part of the package plan Im dealing with.Patiently I waited,until he finally excused himself from his friends.It was already past midnight when he went out the bar walked towards his car parked a short distance from the resto bar.I saw his figure and face while he was starting the cars engine. Got near him and we looked each others eyes from the side window of his car.Two shots reverberated the stillness of the early dawn,as i walked away and cross the streets and rode off on a car patiently awaiting me...October is a hell of a month to be in Manila,and on friday I had to go to Sangley point,to see some of our people there.Cris had buzzed me for a meeting at 1500hrs.It was in the board room downstairs.I poured a strong cup of black coffee.I stood there on that cold October morning,hot coffee cupped between my hands,and gazed blankly out across the glass window,and shiny slopping roofs,back yards of burgeoning trees and wet dew soaked thatch of grass.I weighed the desirability of pulling the still warm bedding over my still unawakened body.Reluctantly I turned on the shower.Thursday I was busy working back over a back log of new information regarding the packageplan,when Cris came in,he asked me how things were.It was strictly rhetorical stuff,but I told him about the agreed expenses and claims.It was a long meeting.However,my complaint about working in the dark must have some effect,for Cris started to tell me things.OK said Cris.In lieu of all you claim Ill take you for lunch.Cris didnt fool about with expenses;we went into Ongpin St. ,Manilas ChinaTown,and entered in one of the venerable mainstays .Theres something to meet anybodys gastronomic need,whether major or minor,ordinary or rare.Sharks fin soup,Birds nest soup,and century eggs.Over the roast pork,Cris asked me how things were going.I told him that it was going just great and i hope someone will tell me what Im doing someday.....The iced lemon tea was sweet,tender and cold like the sweet smiling Chinese waitress.Youre working with the same information that I am.Unless Im wrong,we are moving in from opposite ends to the same conclusion. Cris said.Then he changed the subject.The sun sets and goes out like a flashlight in the tropics.And it was low in the sky....Soon shadows lurking unfolds,I closed the curtain from the plexu glass window of the bus Im on and tried to get some sleep.Cavite city will be a few hours travel from Cubao,Quezon City.The next morning was a long meeting with some of our people.In this kind of business you only keep your focus on the job,how it is done and no emotions involved.You only trust two people to survive.Our Maker and yourself.At times its always a problem getting a good night sleep without getting yourself intoxicated.faces and places creeping like shadows inside the subconscious mind,every time you close your eyes....The next two days were nerve racking.Life on this kind of job busied itself into a prenetic but organized scramble as the day for the next project neared.Id spent most of the two days working closely with Cris.It was a pleasure.The difference between Cris and the other people from the trade with his background was his readiness to use information from his inferiors.Both socially and military speaking.He was prepared to let the technicians conclude opinions from their data,where others would try to understand the techniques in order to jealously guard the privilege of deciding anything at all...December.I was back in my province.Spent Christmas with my family.tried to hide the shadows behind,never to let my kids and wife know what I did back out there.the only thing they knew was I had a job in Manila and contractual by nature.Situations were running smoothly backhome.until news broke out one morning,that my friend and buddy Cris met his fate in an encounter together with some of his people in the streets of manila.A mis-encounter as they call it when both entities are government authorities collided.a kind of white washing procedure.And be moot and academic during political campaign period comes....When my younger brother died of sickness,he was 31.Life goes on with my father and my remaining sister.On weekends ,I visited them and brought along my kids to see them and tried to ease their sadness.Everytime we arrived at my fathers house in our hometown,my sister suffering from rheumatic heart always welcome us smiling though teary eyed and peacefully watching the kids greeting their grandpa.For now,I am starting to recoup new strengths to continue our lives and wishing not to go back to the old me.Thank You my father uttered while we sat at the porch watched the kids play with their Auntie.Tears of joy trickled his eyes,I can sensed his feebleness and exhaustion from the long years of sacrificing to meet both ends for us.The man who had not only been my father but also a friend as well is now old;the smiling face that i once knew is now full of wrinkles and stress.I always felt that pang of guilt pricking my heart everytime i came across with his sobering eyes.....Warm sunny weather expected to continue.One of these days ,Ill find myself white washed like Cris.Know your enemies was Cris theory.He felt if all his staff knew the low life of the trade visually they would stand a better chance of predicting their thought.But unfortunately for Cris,not all his staff knew it.I was getting oblivious about Cris and his people.That afternoon as the sun reached its apogee and I sat watching the red halo slowing in the sky and as i was drinking a bottle of Vodka under a tree.A red blood Mitsubishi Lancer, slowly edging by the side of the road and stopped in front of my house.A fine gentleman and smart looking from his early 50s emerged.wearing dark brown executive long sleeves polo and dark gray slacks.The reputation of the organization needed another crackpot scheme,I thought.Good evening said the gentleman as he approaches and stood in front of me.I was appalled when he called me by name and tried to impress me as if he knew me like the back of his hand.He told me that he read my files and about Cris and the group.Jay as he was called in the organization.Everything revolves round Jay;to understand the organization you must understand Jay.Jay has spent his life amidst changing political scenes.Jay in time became my closest friend.We have gone into all sorts of jobs in line with the foundation that Jay has founded.We organized people in some hinterlands,wher insurgents abound.There were times I saw the faces of persons with Jay before they were headlined and reported been assasinated or ambushed.Like the former military officer became governor and was assasinated.The news about the leader of a muslim group said to be killed in an encounter yet lives and resurfaced into another identity.Jay has come through all these changes like a plastic duck going over the Pasig river,by floating along with the current.Thats how our organization survive the changing time.Our foundation can blend to anything.Yet in my thoughts,The humble and broken heart,subdued by genuine repentance,will appreciate something of the love of God and the cost of Calvary;and as a son confesses to a loving father,so will the truly penitent bring all his sins before God.And it is written,If we confess our sins,he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.1John1:9............A Merry Christmas to all......
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 03:22:00 +0000
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